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I Dont Know What To Do In My Spare Time

Its funny how i keep waiting for the weekend during the week, fantacising about the great things ill be doing or the fine places ill be going to. but when the weekend comes, i am stuck wandering in the house like a zombie, having no particular plan...if it wasnt for the movies, the books and the internet, i dont know how awfully unbearable life in the weekends would be. Its like i keep hungring myself for a meal that i would never eat.

I feel like my life is empty. Its lacking something i can put my finger on and i wish if there is somebody who can tell me what to do with my free time.

lovefollower lovefollower 26-30, F 21 Responses Jan 1, 2010

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i don't know it but if you find the answer for a girl, let me know

I know how you feel.

yea i know what you mean. you gotta be cool with yourself and not wrry bout how you look in everyone else's eyes. and find people who are willing to try to do new things with you so it's not like you have to do whatever they want under their terms. im a guy but if you're on the east coast message me maybe we can talk. talk first see what happens. take a chance.

yea i know what you mean. but you gotta be open to the opportunities around you first. if you're on the east coast message me maybe we can talk. talk first see what happens.

You are absolutely right about that you know, it doesn't make sense.

If so, He knows what mistakes we will do, what choices we will take and then why we should be punished for making the choices He already knows we'll be doing? I dont understand !!!!

The question of free-will versus determinism! That's about as deep as it can get :) Could it be that God gave us free will, but also has full knowledge of everything before it happens -- which means we are never forced to do something because it is pre-written for us, but it may be "pre-written" as a part of God's knowledge? Just some thoughts.

Hello Steve,<br />
I had to read your comment over three times to absorb every word. I have nothing to comment on, you said it all and you said so perfectly. Some times, i wonder why we all need to be reminded that God is watching over us. I wonder why we forget!! even if His gifts are all around us, from the very moment we open our eyes in the morning to enjoy the gift of sight to the moment we fall asleep, a gift that not everybody enjoys. I know that the Creator is all around us and i have never been so thankful for his gifts in my life until i fell sick some years ago and i was deprived from some things i have always taken for granted. What is it that is blocking us? what is it that makes us forget God is with us? <br />
there is a serious question i always ask myself...they say that everything is preordained...and there is a Divine plan we are following..but how much are we in control of our destiny and how much we are controlled? If we fail to live the right way, if we somber in depression and just give up coping with life, is it our choice or our fate?

No, lovefollower, it does not make anyone a coward when finding trouble coping with life and all it brings. Quite the contrary, if you look at it from a different perspective. Some people can manage to deny there is anything wrong and go through the motions as if nothing needs their full attention. Does this make them brave? You can't possibly tell by looking at them that they are in turmoil inside. This is more common than we know. So who then is not coping? Those of us that realize something isn't right and take time out to be alone and reflect inward are facing our thoughts, our fears, our inner turmoil head on and will come out better for it.<br />
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The key is to not let it dominate you for too long. Know that you are aware of it, you acknowledge there is a problem and then, and this is what seems to be so hard, but it shouldn't be at all, simply believe that there is a higher power guiding you regardless of whether you can see where you are going or not. There is a master plan. In my case, even though I do not believe in the traditional Catholic religion I was born into, but do absolutely know without a doubt that some wondrous Creator made all this happen and has not abandoned us just because we doubt. Do you think you know more than this Creator? How arrogant we are to believe we know more and we decide that our lives have no purpose just because we are confused. It seems difficult, but just try to accept that the same intelligence, energy, consciousness that created everything created you and is all around you. Look at the trees, flowers, people, sky, planets. You are part of this great "living machine". Nothing is wrong with you that millions of others haven't felt and you are never alone even though you feel you are.<br />
Now, given all this, let's just hypothesize that it's a little bit true...you must be stopping yourself consciously or subconsciously from doing what you want to do. There is no other "force" preventing you from walking out your door, meeting people, finding something that makes you happy, finding a friend, or from being successful. Know this; you are never alone. God is in you, all around you and walks with you. If you need Him, call on Him and do what he tells you. Follow your inner spirit. You know what is right and what is wrong for you. If you ask yourself right now, should I sit here in quiet distress or get up and do something I know is good for me? The answer is in the question.<br />
Live, love, be kind to yourself and others. All else will fall into place. I promise you that. Have I gotten totally beyond feeling confused, stressed, even depressed at times? No. But I have proven everything I suggested to you and it works when I want it to work. When I fall back on excuses just because life seems overwhelming, I am letting that happen to me. When I fight to get up, go out, talk to people, walk, read, anything that I know is proven to be good for me and has been written about by men wiser than me, I feel better. Always. Maybe only a little, sometimes miraculously so. It's not as hard as you think it is. If you're like me, you're making it harder than it needs to be by setting some high standard that you can't possibly meet. This is human nature and why we cannot live without knowing we are not alone. We are not perfect and it does not matter. There is no perfection. If there were, it would surely be a dull world with nothing to strive for.<br />
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In my prayers I surround you with love and light, as I do myself. <br />
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Steve

My colleague, with whom i used to spend some time, is never free the weekends. she's got a boyfriend. i thought about studying something in my free time and i am going to enrol in a very interesting distant courses...i guess this will do! Thanks foreverheart for your help...you gave me ideas.

Have you considered making plans with some of the persons that occupy your work week? If you plan ahead to do some of these great things, purchase tickets etc then you will somewhat force yourself to do it. You could enlist the help of a friend to do things with you until you feel comfortable making these plans alone. You could go to the gym together, volunteer to help others, or some colleges offer classes on weekends or online so you could take a class that interests you. Possibly you will meet others in the class that you can invite out for coffee or a walk in the park after class.

It does seem sometimes the world is in a language we don't understand! I don't understand it an I don't consider myself to be a weak or stupid person either.

But doesnt it make of us cowards to be unable to cope, to find refuge in our shells and having nothing to do with the world? Sometimes i think i must make efforts but as i said before i need a manual to make those efforts.

We do seem to be on the same wave length? Two pea's in a pod. Couldn't think of anyone I'd rather share it with! Sometimes it hurtsto be so deep - The world just doesn't cut it!!! It's finding little diamonds like you that makes life worth living.

Touché! yeah its one of the reasons too..lack of confidence in the world and the fear to be involved in it. I couldnt word it better than you!

Hey Babe, I'm exactly the same. I have good thoughts and intentions but it's like I'm standing in quicksand or I'm on a leash. It's easy for others to give advice but you have to feel what others feel to understand. I hate it. It was a beautiful day today and I couldn't even leave the house! It's not lack of self confidence - i think it's a lack of confidence in the world around us? We don't want to be let down by it or be involved with it.

Lack of self belief yes this is it but what makes some people successful and others not? do you think its lack of self confidence? must be one of the reasons...in my case, i think its also lack of know-how...sometimes i feel like i need a manual to know how to live my life...i need to know what are the first steps of everything...

Hmm. You have free time?! Wow, that's a blessing in itself in my book...<br />
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Maybe a journal style reflection on what it is that you actually want could be useful. Could you then work backwards from that, trying to figure-out what possible steps could lead you to your goal? Could it be lack of self-belief that stop you from acting I wonder? I suffer too from low self-esteem and it can really put brakes on taking action at times.<br />
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Just some thoughts...

Thank You Max for the piece of advice.<br />
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Seekerofspirit, I considered volunteering, i know that being useful will make me feel better and my life worth living but i am just trapped, cant put my thoughts into action.

Enjoy your time go get fresh air and think talk to yourself to change your life to the best try to find good company and is there a spare time nowadays with my best wishes to you in newyear <br />
Max

lovefollower, have you considered volunteering? I've been looking into doing charity work for pretty much the same reason. I am at a loss for purpose in life right now. In these tough times, there are many, many that need help of some sort or another.<br />
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I'm considering Habitat for Humanity, local churches, assisted living facilities, fund raisers, etc.<br />
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Just an idea.