I Just Don't Even Bother Anymore....it's Not Even Fun.

I hate it when people cancel at the last minute. This has been happening to me every time I make plans pretty much for the last year and some change.

For my wedding, I invited several friends and family members thinking,"Hey this is my wedding, they are my close friends and family, why wouldnt they show up?". Our original guest list was at about 200 people w/ DH's family and friends and my family and friends. I sent out many invitations, and got virtually none back from my family and friends. My parents were not invited as they had disowned me(their choice not mine) the previous fall due to my mothers mental issues. I finally emailed some of my relatives and they emailed me back w/ half assed reasons they couldn't come; out of my relatives, the only 2 that showed up were my aunt and my uncle(my aunts husband couldn't be bothered to show up as he was on vacation, and he was mad at me-apparently-for my mothers actions that she had blamed on me that he also apparently blamed on me-even though at this point I had not spoken to my mother or had any contact w/ her in over a year). Out of my friends, the only ones who showed up were 4 of my friends from middle school and one of their boyfriends. Everyone else was from my husbands side or were his friends from various points of his life. Out of our original guest list, only approx. 40-50 people, including the bridal party showed up. Every one left for the most part after the cake(which was early in the evening, as well), and by the time it was time for us to make our exit, there was virtually no one there. I had bought sparklers to give to people when we made our exit, as I had seen pictures w/ it and they were beautiful. However, w/ the 6 people we had(none of which included my friends or family, or my husbands friends), it was pointless. The only people there were my sulking MIL, my FIL, our son, BIL, and one of my husbands uncles and his grandson.  Our getaway limo(MIL had insisted on a limo when I had told her that a nice car would be fine) that MIL had been in charge of also didn't show up, and so we ended up scrambling at the last minute to get a car. Everyone else had left and gone to the bar. There were several other horrible incidents leading up to and around the wedding that I will not get into here.

There is also a friend of mine who decided to become a single mom right about the time I had my son. We were friends for awhile before she got pregnant, and when she got pregnant, I was there for her when most of our friends weren't. I went to her baby shower and bought a gift, and hung out w/ her as much as I could. Since she has had the baby, we have only hung out once. No, it isn't that she just can't, as she sees all of her other friends plenty- I know b/c I have looked at her FB page and seen the comments from her friends referencing places and things they have done together. However, anytime she makes plans w/ me/me and my son, she will wait until the day of, literally like an hour before, then call me up and say she cannot come for some reason, everytime. It is so bad it has almost become a joke between my husband and I. Her favorite excuse is that her son is sick, which would be believable if it wasn't like every single week, and if I didn't read about her doing something w/ another friend on her FB page literally the next day. She also knows that I don't mind her son coming along, and my son doesn't come along all the time, so it has nothing to do w/ that. She also will say her son is "napping" for 6 or more hours at a time during the day, until such a time that it is not feesible for her to come over or for us to meet up. She has also started calling me, but will never answer when I call her, nor will she call me back.

There is another friend of mine who I am starting to think just doesn't want to hang out anymore. She always talks about getting together. We finally made plans a few weekends ago. Literally the morning of, I get an email saying she has been sick w/ a minor illness for the last 2 weeks, and she doesn't feel well and "doesnt want to get me sick" and she was sorry for being a jerk-we had made plans over a week prior. Nicer turndown than I have gotten from other people, but still. Needless to say, I was pretty perturbed as I had been looking forward to hanging out all week, and it isn't like I get to go out often either. She also has made no effort to reschedule either since then, however has gone out w/ other friends since then. 

I am to the point that I really just don't even bother making plans w/ people anymore b/c all that happens is I end up disappointed and hurt. I am really jealous of my husband, who goes out w/ his friends all the time practically, meanwhile I have to stay home and watch our son. I cannot go w/ him b/c there would be no one to watch our son. I understand that I am a mom, but mom's need breaks too, and I never seem to get one.
agirlnamedsue agirlnamedsue
2 Responses Mar 13, 2010

That is one of my biggest pet peeves, especially people treating you like a backup plan. It's like not responding at all, or waiting for a while before answering an invitation to see if a better offer pops up. Why not just say no in the first place? Worse yet is someone giving the invite, and no answer when you try to confirm what time to meet on said day/night, then they delay. Only to come back with they're cancelling with you b/c "last minute" stuff came up and they're doing that instead. Sure stuff comes up, like getting sick, work related issues, etc. Totally understandable. But not cancelling to hang out w/someone else.

I'm so sorry for you. What ********. I know exactly how you feel... Sometimes I just wonder, why I even bother? WHy are people such selfish ********?