I Pretend

that everything in my life is perfect.  That I always know what to say, and I always know what to do.  That nothing ever goes wrong, and I am always in control.  That I have it all together.  Nothing ever makes me cry, no pain ever reaches my heart, and I can walk through life alone if I have too.

None of it is true.  I hide my weaknesses because I don't want people to see me.  I don't want people to see that I can be vulnerable, or hurt, or scared.  Because if I'm not perfect they might not love me.  So I hide behind my walls and no one ever gets to close.  But it's lonely back here.  

And recently I let someone see the flaws that make me human, and he fell in love with me.  It's quite remarkable that all the things I spent my life trying to hide, are the very things that make him love me.  I wish I could learn to trust others that way...show myself, the real me, and trust that others would see the good in me too.

cedricsmom cedricsmom
36-40, F
Jun 29, 2011