To Whom It Concerns.

I don't know who is going to read this or why it would interest anybody but I feel like I need to share this experience with somebody. If you're reading this you're reading the story of a sixteen year old boy living in North Carolina. I was born here (in North Carolina) and moved from place to place growing up. Why I did never got answered for me. All I remember is as soon as I settled in somewhere my mom was saying pack your bags. I never liked it anywhere we went. I can give you a list of ten of the worst places to live in the U.S. due to my personal experience. I guess you can say I hate it here there and everywhere. Hate isn't even a strong enough word to satisfy me, loathe, detest, abhor! All these words express the minimum of how I feel. And now I’m stuck in NC back where I came from and to top it off, I moved going into high school. I knew no body, had no friends, and it’s been three years and I’m still spending the weekends alone in my room. I mean look at me, blogging on a website I stumbled upon because I typed I HATE WHERE I LIVE,In the Google bar. And the worst of it is that I’m on break. I should be going out and partying but I’m not. I choose to live a healthy life and this is how I’m repaid. I’m nice to everyone, and I smile at everyone even on my bad days. And still I’m left alone, no friends, no love, nothing to do. I want to go somewhere people understand me. Somewhere I can get along with everybody and where I can get a smile back. Is that so much to ask for? I see people with people all the time. Why can’t I have that? I’m told it’s because I don’t reach out... Yes I do! I reach out and then some more but I always get the cold shoulder. I’m not saying the world is against me, but I am saying it feels that way and I wish it would stop. I HATE IT HERE!!

sad

nnelgc nnelgc
18-21, M
1 Response Nov 23, 2010

I know exactly how you feel. When I was growing up we moved all the time. The longest place I lived was 5 years and that was when I was born to when I was 5. Then it seemed like every 3 years like clockwork my parents moved me again. I hated it, I would make friends then, POOF they were gone again. In high school we moved to Florida and if I wouldn't have graduated high school a year early then I would have moved in my Senior year. I still can't seem to stop the cycle, my parents also ended up just recently moving to NC. I know when I was moving around I used to think, whats the point in trying to make friends when I won't be here long anyway? And "It's just easier not to get to know people because then it will hurt less." But everyone needs some sort of companionship. Even if they don't think they do. Sometimes you find friends in strange places, and usually when you least except it. Maybe try going out someplace you would normally never go, or do something that you don't think you'll like, like fishing or chess or something.. Who knows maybe someone will surprise you. Good Luck, and if you need to talk feel free to send me a message.