Just A Taste For The New

I don't hate where I live per se; Gainesville has been good to me and all my life living here, I have gotten to know every intimate road, every restaurant off the beaten path and every place to go have fun with or without money. Yet this town is a transient town what with SFC and UF and all, so to fall in love or make a friend is a temporary pasttime because you know they wont be around for long. That and I'm getting older, and to some students, its an anathema to make friends with someone who isn't a fellow student or at least in their age range..and that I get. At their age I'd think a lonely person in their 30s would be "creepy" or "boring", too. I guess there's something in a sleepy, north Florida college town that makes everyone I know settle down and start families, also; I'm the very definition of "late bloomer" so I'm nowhere near ready yet and won't be for a few years, so what can I do?

October I was fortunate enough to take a mini vacation down in Ft Lauderdale for 4 days. It was night time when I arrived but I never say a big city before in such a long time, my face was literally " :O " the whole time; the bright lights on A1A, the gorgeous beachside, the canals and even the more poorer sides had their charm...and don't even get me started on the attractive people I've seen. Ever felt like you belonged? Years ago, I'd of been scared of a place like that because I haven't learned how to survive, I wasn't street smart enough nor had that fire in me that wanted to explore, but now at my age..I wanted more. More to do, more to see, more people to meet, more opportunity to expand my horizons and it seems a larger but at least familiar new city has that. When I came home from the trip, the electricity of FTL wore off and I relapsed into depression and routine. Last night, sitting alone not doing much, I suddenly felt a surge inside me- it went from my belly to my brain and then my brain started into a buzzing of planning and dreaming: I want to move! And I want to move there!

Then I remembered how good I have it here- close network of family and friends, nice location where I live and the fact that I'm barely making ends meet right now..why would I leave what I have for an uncertain future? I know one person, a guy who went to school up here that I'm good friends with, but I cant call on him to help me if I ever got into a bind. There's so many reasons I cant, but the obvious one is I want to be independent. I guess Ft Lauderdale isn't out of the question, its out of the question for now.
Lov3intheasylum Lov3intheasylum
36-40, F
Dec 9, 2012