I never thought that someone's surroundings could make someone so depressed, but it's happened to me.

Two years ago I had to move to a small town in southern South Carolina (parent got a job). At first, I was neutral about the move. I thought it would be okay...a fresh start at least. But I can truly say that after living here for awhile I HATE it. I despise the hot, sweltering weather in the summer that makes it so you can't go out and do anything. The humidity sucks too; it makes you feel sticky and disgusting. I like COLD weather: the beautiful snow, the trees with their bare branches, getting all bundled up and drinking hot chocolate (yum). We never get snow here :((

Even if you could go out, there's nothing to do. There's nowhere to go. There's what, the ill-run WalMart in the dinky ***** mall to hang out at? Nightlife? What is that?

I am trapped here. I have never felt this miserable in a place before. I'm so lonely and bored. I hate small town living. You have to drive everywhere. It's too quiet and can I reiterate, boring. I hate sticking out so much. I'm not white or black. I don't feel like I belong. I want to move to the city, where there's always things happening, diversity, public transport, people on the street, STUFF TO DO.

What's more, I have to live next to some nosy, rude neighbors who feel the need to criticize the fact that I don't go to church whenever possible.They run their damn leaf blower and lawn mower right outside my window at 8 in the freaking morning. On weekends. And besides, now it's summer. Not fall. Are there leaves to be blown? No! Our other neighbors own two yappy attack dogs that attempt to attack me every time I try to go get the mail.

The worst part is that it looks like I'll be stuck here for another two years until I've finished college (out of state tuition is too expensive, can't afford it) and saved up enough money to move out. Just the thought of two more years here depresses the hell out of me.

If I could, I'd hop a plane tomorrow and fly away from this place. I'd do it in a heartbeat. I'd even leave all my stuff behind (except my beloved camera, photography ftw) just to accelerate me getting out of here. To where? Who knows. Anywhere but here.

But I can't do that, so instead, first chance I get (re: finished degree and enough money) I'm out of here and never looking back.
etalors etalors
22-25, F
Aug 16, 2014