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I Wish I Could Whine More

The tendency to whining and complaining may be taken as the surest sign symptom of little souls and inferior intellects.

Lord Jeffrey

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It must be nice to be able to blame everything in your life on schools, churches, politicians, hospitals, parents, relations, and acquaintances. 

I really wish I was able to just release myself of all self-esteem, personal responsibility, accountability for my actions, and self-reliance like some people. 

How much an easier life it must be, when you know that nothing you do matters and that nothing you do will ever change anything. 

How much simpler a world view, to believe that everyone is out to get you and that's all there is to it.

I wish I could just sit back and wallow in self pity like a pig in mud all day.  But I have a job, school, a mortgage, a family to feed, and a set of hobbies working into a second career.  I just don't have the time.  God bless the people that do!

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Self-pity is our worst enemy and if we yield to it, we can never do anything wise in this world.

Helen Keller

Pendark Pendark 36-40, M 5 Responses Jul 11, 2009

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I disagree with most of this website.<br />
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What's the difference between a negative observation and a positive one? "Boy, my day sucked, my boss at work did this and that and it really made me angry..."<br />
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"Boy, my day was really great, the food I ate was great, the people I met were nice, and this person I met did the best...."<br />
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ob<x>jectively speaking, they are both observations about ones day. So, why is one such a bad thing and the other such a good thing?<br />
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The second statement would come from a person we would enjoy being around, who we would call "cheery and happy". The first statement would be from the guy who whines and complains all the time, who we hate to be around.<br />
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But ultimately, they are both doing the same thing. Stating the facts of their day. <br />
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The reason we prefer one approach to the other is that we are vicariously being effected by these statements and allowing ourselves to be reminded of the good times or the bad times in our own lives.<br />
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In essence, the complainer reminds a person of things that the listener would rather forget.<br />
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But I personally place more responsibility on the listener. He or she chooses how they react to the information he or she takes in. If an observation of something negative puts you in a negative fr<x>ame of mind, then you are a negative person. A stable person realizes that the world isn't rose tinted, and being reminded of the fact won't rock them, because they've already accepted it and have chosen to be happy regardless. People complaining about whiners are not stable. They are in denial. They are the type of people who want to rid the world of unhappy realities and pretend they are not there. They are the ones who always have to be watching TV or working because if they stop keeping their minds active, they will begin to think about all of the negative things they are repressing. <br />
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Whiners bring these repressed feelings to the surface by acting as constant reminders of the reality you would so like to forget.

You make good points. But, reality is what we make it. Yes, there is circumstance and outside influence to contend with, but to continually blame the ills in your life on other people, on circumstance, or on the "cards you were dealt," is to deny the reality that you are responsible for your own life. All ofthe whining, blaming, and name calling invariably comes from people with markedly low self-worth, self-esteem, and personal responsibility. And a good number of them want the rest of us to be as stuck in that mindset as they. Hence, they foist their problems on the rest of us.

Roll up your sleeves and get to Work! "Easy" has nothing to do with it. Life is Work---embrace that!

I don't disagree with everything you say. However, this society has been conditioned to accept victim status. There is an increasing number of people, who are so entrenched in the victim hood mentality, that they cannot seem to escape it. I blame this, primarily, on the way our society has evolved into an entity that places the victim on a pedestal and deifies the oppressed. <br />
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This attitude has become so prevalent in our politicians, leaders and teachers in this modern society, that they are constantly stoking the fires of class separation based on race, color, and social status, at the same time as demonizing those who choose to rise above those separations and become successful. <br />
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The victim has become a commodity, to be traded for the passing of specific eliminations of the freedoms of the non-victims. This is ironic, since the very people who are using the victim as the poster child for their agenda, are at an even higher level of elitism, class separation, and mindset of fascism, than those they demonize.<br />
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And the educators maintain the myth of the glory of victim hood, by repeating the mantra of helplessness and oppression to the youth as they move through the system. <br />
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We have an entire dispensation of humans that has never lived without computers, television, cellphones, Wii machines, or Abercrombe and Fitch. They are so consumed by the need for these things in their lives, that they feel they are deprived and victimized by the lack of any one of these things, let alone all of them.<br />
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This is so much the attitude, that the people actually experiencing the problems of life, disability, or illness, loss of loved ones, depression, etc; have the tendency to blame everything in their lives on schools, churches, politicians, doctors, neighbors and relatives. They lack the ability to self-examine and self-initiate. They lack it because it isn't taught any more.<br />
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I don't assume that everyone is drowning in self pity. Just a lot of people. I would disagree with your last sentence in one specific way: I will give them all the space they need, but I will not facilitate, support, or sympathize with self chosen victim hood. They may wallow in whatever they choose, but I do not have to tolerate or allow the spite, anger, futility or aggression they choose to use in dealing with the world around them, to drag me into their state of mind.

I don't deny what your saying either! But <br />
Every single one of us, has a Victim, Whinier, Fighter,and Coward in us. Because one cannot come without the other.What order they come in will depend on the personality type and experiences. The recovery period shall also vary.<br />
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If someone is whining they are at that phase and how long they stay there depends on the wound, speed of recovery and support. And Also their experiences.It takes time to build your emotional fort. And learn to protect yourself and keep going. Its unfair to think someone should hurry up in their journey. When thier map is totally different. <br />
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People can't sing out their life story, we can't assume everyone's drowning in self pity. Give a little leverage. And Iam saying this on both forums. Its not a personal attack and Im no mediator. But people are hurting and are in a lot of pain. We all need to give each other the space we need whether its to Hide pain. Show it. or Fight it.

Amen Brother!