I Cannot Understand My In-Laws

I've known them for 32 years. They NEVER took care of their house, didn't clean it, paint it, change anything, fix anything...
They were too busy with their friends, clubs and going dancing.
They used to go to Las Vegas, NV several times a year so I never guessed they were living pay check to pay check. In the past couple of years I've been finding out about their financial situation and I'm just disgusted. Especially to hear that my Mother In Law has been "helping" her daughter and her family all these years. There have been times when my MIL called and asked us for money saying she had been ill and couldn't work or whatever excuse/reason she needed a grand or so.
Another thing is being the youngest/newest Daughter In Law, I used to make Mother's Day & Father's Day dinners, and their birthdays. Until I was told it was inconvenient for them to attend so to please stop. Ok fine.
Fast forward 25 years, they are in their 80's, their house should be condemned and my MIL expects us to all rally around them and act like a real family after she pushed us all away for so long.
I was told that the plan is for the house to be kept for their daughter which if fine with all of us except for the fact that she lives in another state and has been home to visit 3 times in 22 years. There is so much that needs to be done to this house to make it livable if anyone has to go and spend time there to help take care of them.
I just don't feel it's right that we have to put our money into his sister's house. She always says she can't help right now.
She is a minister that goes to Peru or whatever 3rd world country almost every year with her husband to pass out pencils at feeding centers or whatever she's doing in her pictures. So all we ever hear from her is I'm sorry I am not there to help but I am praying for you.
I feel she should pray for the strangers and come help her mother and take care of HER house.
In summary, I am just so frustrated to see that my in-laws gave their retirement money to their daughter and cannot help themselves. Now their daughter won't do anything for them. I wouldn't mind so much if the house were going to be sold and we get some of it back later. But we are basically going to keep putting money into his sisters house. She doesn't do anything for our homes!!! And we can't afford to do our homes but we're going to put our money in for that house!
To top it all off, she is a stay at home mother supposedly home schooling her 4 children. 3 of them are over 18 and not one of them has completed their schooling! I've been told that my MIL would brag every year to other relatives how much money she spent on the home school books and supplies!
Now the whiny brat part, so my SIL whines on FaceBook to strangers about how her mother is so sick...  So my husband and I went to see his parents and bring them some food.  His mother talked and talked for an hour and a half.  She got up, walked around-she was fine.  Although at first she was speaking softly and slowly  almost gasping for air. Then when she got my attention(I was trying really hard to leave) and I sat down she started speaking in her normal voice.
Then she starts in about my father inlaw not taking care of her, not feeding her, not waiting on her hand an foot.  Telling me how she yells at him because he doesn't bring her drinks fast enough, or food.
My mouth was hanging open. 
kc808 kc808
51-55, F
Sep 29, 2013