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I Hate Who I've Become

I Pretty Much Hate Myself.

By: pjanoo
Written on March 17th, 2009
If I walked into a room I wouldn't talk to me. I wouldn't even think of talking to me. I'd just judge me. Like "oh, look at that *****, She thinks she's so hot. She never smiles and ew, look at her stomach. haha what a loser." I do that about evryone, so why wouldn't I do it aout me? I look in the mirror and i find it very hard to see something positive about myself. I hate my body. I know i'm not fat, but i'm not thin either. I have a stupid body shape. My stomach is gross. I am really self conscious with anything i wear. I constantly suck my stomach in which, by the end of the day, kinda hurts. Everything I do i find fault with. If i draw something I can sit there for ages picking on everything about it. If i write something I do the same. (I'm even doing it to this. It's written so badly. I should be able to do a much better job.) When people compliment me i eiter reject it or don't listen cos I know it's not true. I avoid mirrors but i can't stay away. I hate looking in them but it's like i have to. I just find something wrong with my face everythime. Also i hate my personality. I've become really broing and quiet. I just want to scream and yell and be the 'naughty' person in class. The distraction. Not the quiet acheiver. I want to be exciting. Something is wrong with me & i hate it.
By: pjanoo
Age: 16-17
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2 responses
  • Boomer2489
    Boomer2489

    You know if I ever had to right something about myself that would be me, I've done very bad things in my past and I hate every thing I've done to my self n everyone around me I know that's all people do is juice but you know what I'm to the point where I'm on the bottom and the rock hit me so u gotta some how try to stop going insane so u push that heavy mother ******* **** load of a rock off u and u say this is me if u don't like me then **** off. You have to look at the things good things about yourself instead of dwelling about the bad things...no effense no judgement talk to a doctor I think antidepressant medication may help...hey at the end of the day it's not about the amout of of breathes you take in your life but the moments that take your breathes away...very cliche...but it's the only think we have left I want to be sitting on my porch that I plan to have on acres of land with the family dog, to have it all, I ean every one has regrets but I wanna live not just survive

    Dec 10, 2012
    1 like
  • jbeye01
    jbeye01

    yep must be. how about you figure out what is wrong with you or quit lieing to yourself that you don't know.maybe you can accept that nothing will ever change. or decide it already has. ps being able to find the fault in what you do is a plus. the challenge is not over obsessing about it.

    best of luck or none whichever,

    j

    Nov 3, 2011
    1 like