Day 18

Today was day 18 of my recovery from a barbaric surgery to remove the rod from my leg. The plan is for me to return to work on 5-21-12. Other than my first time up to pee this morning I used the cane all day. I only took one ibuprofen at 730pm and one percocet for recreation only at 10pm. I am able to walk but I do not trust my knee. You see to pound the rod out of my lower leg, my knee cap needed to be flipped up. Tendons muscles all moved around. The bruising is finally starting to go away. I hope I will be ready to return to work on the 21st. I seem lately to always need to have something to worry about so thisis it...will I be ready to go back to work by the 21st??? The thought of staying home any longer could cause my head to pop right off my shoulders. I enjoy my time alone after a full day of work but being alone all day is making me mental and is feeding into my anxiety. Here's an example. All the wiring in my condo needed to replaced to bring our building up to code with the town. The condo association sent movers to move all furniture another items away from the wall. Then the electricians were in the house all day, it made me anxious that, in. In mind my house was in shambles all day. The movers came back at the end of the day to return all the furniture back to its original spots. When the movers left I hobbled around the house putting things back where they REALLY belonged. Later in the evening as I was preparing to go to bed, I culd not get my tv to turn on, pulled all the wires from the back, I looked at them all, trying to figure out what went wrong when they moved the bureau the tv was on. I was sweating and was definatly inhaling a panic attack about the possibility of going to sleep without the tv on. All I really needed was my house back to the way I wanted it. I hate people touching my stuff, I hate people disrupting my stuff. I realized I have turned into my mom. I have seen her act the same way after a repairman has left her house. On a more positive note it looks like this type of craziness will not have to happen any time soon. My rational mind wonders what the big deal is??? My emotional mind says don't touch my stuff. I often wo der if it is all bad to need things to be a certain way. I live alone and have control overhiwi keep my home. I choose to keep my home neat and tidy!!!
Amala82962 Amala82962
46-50, F
May 10, 2012