I Hate My F***ing Body!!!

So I am twenty six and I absolutely hate the way I look I hate all the fat every morning I take a shower I end up crying for 20 minutes just because I have to see what I look like naked. I was a fat kid then got addicted to ephedra when I was about 19 and was skinny and I mean skinny until they outlawed the drug when I was about twenty one. All i can ever think is people are looking at me like "why is she even out in public?" I haven't gone swimming or wore shorts or a skirt in about five years. I never take my shirt off when I am gettin down with my dude. I feel like I do try and lose the weight I swear I do but it's just not working I need to join a gym but I also feel I am the type who needs someone to go with me as a motivator problem is I do not want anyone to see me like ever I feel like I shouldn't even have the right to walk out in public I am so ashamed of myself. I don't know if anyone really feels the way I do like every time they look in the mirror they wonder why they haven't killed themself yet but well, that's how I feel. Ok that's what's going on with me. hate myself so much!!!

mx199pastrana mx199pastrana
1 Response Aug 3, 2010

You're not alone on this sensitive subject. :( There is a time in everyone's life that they hate themselves, sometimes it just a feeling and other times it's a mental diease. I don't want to sound thoughtless: but Do you have any phyisal pains? Because it could be depression. :( I do say that every girl out there in the universe hates their body, even if they say they don't. But you gotta know that, you are beautiful as long as you believe it and if you don't like something you can always improve, it just takes time and determination. And also ask your guy to be your motivation while excerising :)