I Hate Living With My Parents

I hate living with my parents because they are not good parents they show favoritism towards certain children. And they don’t take the time to try to understand the kids they don’t really care for. For instance I am not my mom’s favorite child and she doesn’t understand me. When I try to talk to her she never listens. She always cut me off and change the subject or she’ll tell me she doesn’t care about what I have to say. I used to wonder why she treated me so different.
 Why she bought the others nice expensive shoes and clothes while I was told “you can’t get that its too expensive.” So I had to get the cheapest (still nice) shoes and clothes that I could find. My brother is the favorite but he is the one who got suspended from high school for having marijuana, stole money from my mom’s purse, cursed her out, degraded her, took her car and wrecked it, took her car and got it towed, was accused of statutory rape. Not to mention all of the tickets he got while driving her car without permission, and she PAID them all!
But me, I have done none of the above. To this day my brother has never had a job or has been to college. I’m doing both and they still treat me as if I’m less than he is. I’m the youngest in my family but I am the most hated. Maybe my mom didn’t want to have me when she was pregnant and her feelings still remain the same. I believe that’s the case. Because when she gets mad at me she tells me that she hates me and she wish she never gave birth to me.
Now that I’m older I really don’t care. I’ve tried my whole life to gain her love and respect, now I just have given up. I don’t know why not but I know she will never love me. I didn’t ask to be born, it was her choice to give birth to me. If she knew that she didn’t want me and she would never love me she could have given me up for adoption, but no she wanted to keep me and make my life a living hell. There are so many terrible things that that woman has done to me and I’m still standing here strong today.
My mom told me I was lying and didn’t try to stop my brother, her favorite child, when I told her that he was molesting me. She used to make me cry and call me fat a** when I was a little girl. Which played a part in me starving myself down to a size 2 in high school. She punched me in my mouth, kicked me in my stomach and pulled my hair out on many occasions. She just had pure hate for me. And she is still the same way towards me when I come home.
For a long time I wanted to kill myself because I felt like I had no family. But I have met so many great friends, they have replaced my family. I didn’t know that there were so many great people out there until I met them. I love them to death, they are my reason for living, they like to see me happy and try their best to keep me that way. So I do the same for them.. Now I want to live until I’m 150 years old. I want to get married one day, have kids and just enjoy the rest of my life with my new found family (my friends).
And I still hate living with my parents because whenever I come home she always say and do things to make me feel like I’m nothing.
modestbeauti modestbeauti
18-21, F
5 Responses Jul 28, 2010

I want to get as far away as I can. But I'm stuck because I have nowhere else to go. And sometimes I do feel like she's evil. Like she does things in my face just so I can react.

As for your comment about the bible,<br />
Jesus says matthew 10:35<br />
"I have come to set a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law."<br />
so don't worry. You should separate yourself from evil.....if she should ever ask forgiveness, then of course, you should forgive....

She likes him because he gives her something to concern herself with besides her own misery.<br />
She lacks the wisdom to understand that you were her second chance.......<br />
Its hard to explain but you should feel sorry for her....and say goodbye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Tell her she still puts the good in goodbye.

I don't hate them because their family plus in the bible it says not to hate anyone. But I just really don't like people who disrespect me like they do. I demand my respect, you know? I respect you so you should respect me. I've never tried repeating anything like you suggested to myself. I guess it wouldn't hurt to give it a try!! Thanx :-)

You know that you aren't nothing, you're a unique person, and it sounds to me as though you are achieving a lot of things. Having good friends is an achievement. I don't know what your mother's problem is, so I can't explain her behaviour, but I know that you can't change other people, you can only change yourself. I am a big believer in positive affirmations. Well, they may not help, but they can't hurt, right? Even if you can't believe them at the moment, why not try repeating to yourself a few times a day, "I love and appreciate myself, and my family" and maybe "My family loves and appreciates me". Try sending out warm and loving feelings to your mother and others unconditionally... and see if it makes a difference. I think that sort of positive affirmation is its own reward, it works well.