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Too Much Of A Good Thing Can Be Bad

I know my story doesn't come close to being as bad as others, but I hated my childhood and this is why.

I'll be the first one to say that I lived the high life as a child. I was homeschooled but rarely did any schoolwork. I was an only child and was spoiled. I went out with my mom everyday in her convertible. We shopped and visited my mom's friends all the time. My parents loved each other and were happy, all of my needs were exceedingly taken care of...

But I wasn't happy. Grateful, but not happy.

I have no social skills. My mom only allowed me to have friends of her choice, who I would see maybe once a year. My 'friends' would always talk to my mom more than me, so I never got to experience what it was like having a friend until high school. I was always engaged in solitary play. Now I'm friendless by choice.

My mom would yell at me and beat me every single day when we got home from an outing. I hated her for this. People always thought I was disrespectful for saying that I hate my mom, but they'd only ever gotten pinched and scolded for doing something wrong. I did nothing wrong. I never figured out why she did it, even though she loved me. She passed away from cancer, and I didn't cry at all. I was more relieved than anything.

My dad jumped into another relationship right after my mom died. My stepmom spent all of her free time at my dad's house while her kids were at her parent's house. All of the things my mom said she was going to give me when I was married became property of my stepmom. They garage saled a lot of my things without asking me. Despite my being spoiled as a kid, I'm not materialistic. What they did doesn't make me mad, I just think it's wrong. So then my stepsiblings moved in, and the house became fully dominated by my stepmom. My stepmom is the kind of person who isn't afraid to string together words that will hit you hard at inappropriate times.

I ended up in a mental health treatment center. I lied my way out of it and said I felt better. Shortly after I got out, I ran away to another country for a week to seek refuge in a boy who I met online. I wanted to die at that point, so I didn't care if anything bad happened to me. It turned out to be the best experience of my life. I missed a part-time job interview during that week (and my stepsisters took the interview instead and both got the job...), but I was happy.

Now that I moved out, I'm overjoyed. People roll their eyes when I say I'm happy to be an adult with lots of responsibilities, but I enjoy it!! It's much better than being restrained and mistreated, and I get to do what I want.
octobre octobre 18-21, F Mar 12, 2012

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