I Hated My First Kiss
Let's for the sake of this post assume that little pecks that kids did when they were 4ish are excluded. They were cute but innocent. They didn't mean things like 'relationships', 'attraction' or 'I wanna get in your pants'.
With that aside, my first kiss technically happened when I was 16— and I hated it. I was traveling for 6 months in China with a small group of 20 Canadian kids. Out of those kids there was one guy that somehow caught my eye. I thought he was pretty darn cute. My little teenage heart started beating fast and instantly I had a crush. Months went on and I kept my secret to myself. The last thing that I wanted was for anyone to find out, especially him. If you haven't already guessed, I was extremely shy and naive at the time.
Out of the blue one day, he started to talk to me, told me he though I was really cute, asked me what I was doing later and if I wanted to hang out with him. I was shocked, flabbergast, probably blushing and stuttering like a fool. This was the first time a crush of mine has reciprocated the crush. I agreed to spend some time with him. Now you must be thinking that this is pretty sweet, why would I hate such a kiss? We are getting to that point now.
That night, we met up in one of the unused bedrooms. I'll take a moment to let you know that we were attending school in this building where the classes were on the first floor and 7 other floors were dorm rooms. There was a small section of the school where there were no students sleeping in so we suck up there to meet. Pretty private, no other furniture than a bed. Well, we sit down and start chatting. He told me things like how he thought I was really cute from day one, which I was pretty much feeling the same for him. Flattered me to pieces before he asked me if I've ever made-out with anyone. I then tell him about the toddler pecks. At that point I was shaking like a leaf from the nerves and fears of completely flopping this experience up. He sits down and tells me that he would teach me. Great! We start. It was nice, wired and a little more than I had expected a make-out to be, but then a funny thought came to head and I just had voice it out. I asked him, in between breaths for air and interrupting him as he tried to sneak his hand down my pants, whether or not he had a girlfriend back in Canada. Sure enough, he did.
The next words out of his mouth were what made the kiss completely regrettable. He was trying to convince me that because she was back at home, that didn't mean that he couldn't have some fun while he was away. Sort of like 'what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas'. It was sleazy, and he wanted me to be his overseas bang buddy.
Now let's recap, at the time, I had never done anything like what just happened (lips, tongue, hands on boobs, hand trying to creep beyond the belt line). In my mind, this was almost as bad as loosing your cheery when your were drunk, not remembering it the next day and the whole school knows about it. I was ashamed of myself for not knowing any better, for being so distracted by a crush and missing the jackass that he really was.
Needless to say, I slammed the brakes on his little plan for the two of us. The rest of the 3 months around him were awkward. That's all the past now, a foggy memory. Thankfully, since then I have experienced far better make-out sessions with far more worthy lips.
With that aside, my first kiss technically happened when I was 16— and I hated it. I was traveling for 6 months in China with a small group of 20 Canadian kids. Out of those kids there was one guy that somehow caught my eye. I thought he was pretty darn cute. My little teenage heart started beating fast and instantly I had a crush. Months went on and I kept my secret to myself. The last thing that I wanted was for anyone to find out, especially him. If you haven't already guessed, I was extremely shy and naive at the time.
Out of the blue one day, he started to talk to me, told me he though I was really cute, asked me what I was doing later and if I wanted to hang out with him. I was shocked, flabbergast, probably blushing and stuttering like a fool. This was the first time a crush of mine has reciprocated the crush. I agreed to spend some time with him. Now you must be thinking that this is pretty sweet, why would I hate such a kiss? We are getting to that point now.
That night, we met up in one of the unused bedrooms. I'll take a moment to let you know that we were attending school in this building where the classes were on the first floor and 7 other floors were dorm rooms. There was a small section of the school where there were no students sleeping in so we suck up there to meet. Pretty private, no other furniture than a bed. Well, we sit down and start chatting. He told me things like how he thought I was really cute from day one, which I was pretty much feeling the same for him. Flattered me to pieces before he asked me if I've ever made-out with anyone. I then tell him about the toddler pecks. At that point I was shaking like a leaf from the nerves and fears of completely flopping this experience up. He sits down and tells me that he would teach me. Great! We start. It was nice, wired and a little more than I had expected a make-out to be, but then a funny thought came to head and I just had voice it out. I asked him, in between breaths for air and interrupting him as he tried to sneak his hand down my pants, whether or not he had a girlfriend back in Canada. Sure enough, he did.
The next words out of his mouth were what made the kiss completely regrettable. He was trying to convince me that because she was back at home, that didn't mean that he couldn't have some fun while he was away. Sort of like 'what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas'. It was sleazy, and he wanted me to be his overseas bang buddy.
Now let's recap, at the time, I had never done anything like what just happened (lips, tongue, hands on boobs, hand trying to creep beyond the belt line). In my mind, this was almost as bad as loosing your cheery when your were drunk, not remembering it the next day and the whole school knows about it. I was ashamed of myself for not knowing any better, for being so distracted by a crush and missing the jackass that he really was.
Needless to say, I slammed the brakes on his little plan for the two of us. The rest of the 3 months around him were awkward. That's all the past now, a foggy memory. Thankfully, since then I have experienced far better make-out sessions with far more worthy lips.
By:
Linxer
Age:
22-25
,
Female
