My Nightmare Wedding

Three words that every little girl dreams about: My wedding day! The day that will be perfect complete with her prince charming, flowers, and the perfect white dress. Every since I was a little girl I imagined, dreamed, and wished for that day. Now it’s all behind me and all I have are regrets. The only dream that came true was marrying my prince charming, otherwise the day was a nightmare. My dress was a decision that I was into pushed (by my parents) due to budget issues. It was the best dress I could find with the small budget they would give me, and the time constraints that were placed upon me. Everyone just wanted me to make a decision. Funny because I had only been to two bridal shops, I’d barely even scratched the surface. I ordered my dress online, and it came in 6 weeks later. I never even got to try on the dress before I got it, I just sent them my measurements and they sent me a dress from China. In fact even with alterations it didn’t fit properly at the top. When I tried to go without a bra for some of my pictures, my chest was falling down where it shouldn’t have been. and those pictures look horrible. The dress was nothing like the one I had dreamed of since I was a little girl! Which brings us to the next disaster: my wedding photographer. My parents wanted a cheap wedding, and that extended to the photos. The photographer wasn’t a professional, he did wedding photography on the side for an extra income. He was a good $700 dollars cheaper than any other photographer. I wonder why? He simply lined people up and took stock photos. Where were the special moments, the fun photographs? I don’t have any. All I have are his staged photos, and a book that he printed out, all apart of his $300 dollar fee, a book that is reglegated to the recesses of my house, and I refuse to look at it. I voiced my opinion to my dad about the photographer, he told me I didn't have a choice about who we hired.
The next disaster: my pianist. A man from my church agreed to play for my wedding, but a few months before the wedding, he backed out because he had to go to a business conference that weekend. He’s never been forced to go to one before. I can only wonder if he thought that my parents wouldn’t pay enough money for his playing, or if he didn’t approve of our marriage (which he didn’t). So I was forced to go with a pianist for $50 dollars. The first time I heard her play was at our rehearsal, and she was bad. She jazzed up our traditional music, and butchered the bridal march (a piece composed by my then fiancé). My fiancé played the piece for her, and she was able to play it right, that is until the actual ceremony when she decided to butcher it again, ruining a special moment and a beautiful piece of music. We bought and gave her copies of all our music, got it to her months in advance, and she agreed to play it. Then without telling us (at the last moment), she decided that they were too hard, and played music we hated for our prelude and postlude. You ask, why did you go with a lady who you’d never heard before? Because my parents liked her price, and I didn’t have a choice in the matter. I also had to go with a cheap florist, a man who offered to do the flowers as a gift to the family. I was again pressured by my family to go with this, being the good girl that I have always been I didn't want conflict. We paid for the fake flowers, and he did the work for free. I wanted to pick out my fake flowers and do the arrangements by myself, but I wasn’t allowed to. This man knew what he was doing, so my parents wanted to go with me. And yet again I was talked into something that I didn’t want. The flower arrangements were in my colors, but they weren’t me. They were too gaudy, and I hated them.
Another parent led decision: the meal at the reception. Dad insisted we have sandwiches, luckily he ended up in the hospital before the wedding, so he couldn’t get the pickles, potatoe salad, coleslaw etc. . . We just served cake, mints, nuts, sandwiches, and chips. If I had had my way we would have served just cake, nuts, and mints, that would have saved money, and we could have put that extra money to better use somewhere else in the wedding. But no, my dad had to impress people, let’s skimp on other things, but we have to feed the people. In fact dad even changed the layout of my reception room around on the day of the wedding, just so he could accommodate his friends. It was all about him, and impressing others, and not about me and my special day. The change he made was one that I told him not to, so he went behind my back to do. This was only a few hours before the ceremony, and I was upset about the whole thing. You’re not supposed to upset the bride on her wedding day, but my dad didn’t care about me.
The last reason I can’t stand my wedding? I was supposed to have a church friend (a beautician) do my hair and make up for the wedding. She volunteered months in advance, and then backed out two days before the ceremony. I looked horrible. I pulled my frizzy hair half back, and looked dumb. My make up was okay, but not great. I hate the way I look in those pictures. I was nothing like the beautiful bride I had always dreamed of being. My bridesmaids were more beautiful than the bride. I hate the fact that over a 100 friends saw me like that on my wedding day. That thought haunts me today, and propels me to hide my pictures in the furthest recesses of my home. But again it was all about money, which I and my fiancé didn't have, but my parents sure did.
I have friends getting married all the time now. They call me up and tell of all their beautiful ideas and plans for their weddings, and I get off the phone and bawl. No one understands how my dreams were crushed 3 years ago, their too busy sharing their own happiness to share my pain. Weddings make me cry now. I’ve cried a lot about my wedding in the months that followed. In fact almost a three years later I'm still crying. I’m jealous of my friends and their happiness. I wish that I could go back, I wish that I could do things differently. I wish that I had different parents, one’s that cared more about me and my wishes, then money. They had the money to spend on the day, and the things that I wanted wouldn’t have been that expensive. Even with granting my wishes I would still have had a budget wedding. But alas I can’t go back, I can’t undo that day, but I can cry about it and regret it for the rest of my life.
raichi88 raichi88
22-25, F
3 Responses Nov 30, 2012

Perhaps you should save up your own money and have another wedding with your own money on your own terms.

I totally understand you. I also hate my wedding. First, the dress wasn't the one I really liked. I chose it for 3 reasons: because my mother fell in love with it, I was low budget and because I am an impulsive person (I didn't liked the idea to get 1,000 dresses tried on) so I went only to 1 bridal boutique (WORST MISTAKE EVER). Second, the music was HIDEOUS, in fact the dj ruined our first dance, the music suddenly stopped and he didn't do anything about it. Third, 90% of our guests liked booze - the majority were young people. But because I was low budget, I could only afford to open the bar 2 hours, yes 2 hours only! It was a whole mess. No one will stand up to dance. When the bar was closed everyone got out of the ball room disappointed, but yet trying to hide their disappointment. Fourth and worst of all, my father never showed up, just because he didn't care it was her youngest daughter's wedding. Also, the wedding ended up very early, 11:30pm and our parties always end up a little bit more late, but again I couldn't afford extending the schedule. My make up and hair do look hideous on the photos, the hair stylist just went and spend a whole can of hair spray on my head that day! I also hate my wedding photos, I look awful and like 10 years older. Now I am seeing other people's weddings and they look so happy and accomplished. Brides comment they love their dress and that it was the best day of their lives. I am so sad I cannot say the same about mine. I wish I would never had my wedding and just go on with a very simple civil wedding and that's it. I feel extremely sad and I regret so much I didn't do things how I was supposed to. A wedding is not an event, is YOUR event. So it should take all the time it needs to be perfect. I guess my major mistake was I didn't wait longer to get married. I got engaged and in 8 months planned my wedding. Oh and I must not forget, I didn't had a wedding planner, ANOTHER WORST MISTAKE OF ALL! A good and successfull wedding event takes time and dedication, and a wedding planner for sure. My dream dress was a Berta Bridal gown, but these were way over my budget. So I just had to stick to a Pronovias that I didn't really liked much. Well, I guess there's nothing I can do about it. Just comfort with the idea of renewing vows in 10 years and finally wearing the gown of my dreams and having the real wedding. Hoping not to get too wrinkled by then.

It sounds a lot like your parents paid for your whole wedding. If that's the case, then I don't see there being too much room to complain.
Wanting all the dream things for your wedding is fine, you should have them. Being disappointed is fine, I hate my own wedding. However, my husband and I paid for our entire wedding by ourselves.
If you wanted all these things, why did you not save your money to pay for them? That way you could have had it all and been able to be proud of yourself for your independence.