My Humble Experience

Yeah,this was not my forte,teeheehee...so I ducked out of ever doing it in High School,which turned out to be quite a surprise at the end of my senior year when I wasn't allowed to graduate!

I THOUGHT that was just a MYTH!!!

So I stayed on for another semester,which was mostly ok with me,I had a good job as head busboy in a fancy dining room,could borrow Mom's car whenever,plenty of money for weed and spent all my schooltime in the artroom-though most of my few friends had already left town and I was still too shy to speak to girls,much less date them...

I signed up for archery to get my nessesary gym credit,that sounded like actual fun-I always did like to play Robin Hood.Of course the coach-"Stinger"did not,did not,did not like me...so he gave me gymnastics.At 8am.(my only class that began before noon!)I was not amused to find myself the only male,the only senoir,and the only stoner- in a roomfull of giggling oh-so-preppy freshman girls...did I mention that I was not very cordinated?...or that my night job and party schedule kept me up half the night? or that I was a bumbling,mumbling, awkward-goofy-bookish paint-spattered mess?

I made it to class.I suited up in polyester shorts.I tried to not fail,sorta...I was mostly mortified.The redneck coach really enjoyed seeing me suffer.chump.

Finally the semester was over,and I was summoned to his smelly office...I had failed every gymnastics thing,every vault,dismount,routine and warmup...but I think I showed up more often than not...and hey,couldn't I transfer some of my A+ art credit over to the bloody gymnastics column?yeah,right-this ape really admired surrealism and political cartoons-the contempt oozed out of his countenance everytime he saw me..."D,in NO way have you earned a passing grade in my class..." ulp..."but if I give you this ( well deserved) F...I will have to look at you for a whole 'nuthah suhmestah...an' nobody wants dat..."I could only nod,blush and look down at my tore-up old Addidas."so here ya go..."

He marked me down with a D-minus,juuuust enough to pass the heck out of the hallowed halls of Hangover High.What a pal!

dubkebab dubkebab
46-50, M
2 Responses Feb 24, 2010

thanks wonders.I'm glad EP gives me the opportunity to relive my past embarassments with humor and humility...it's healthy.

My goodness Dub, this is a terrific post!...It brought me back to highschool for a moment in time. Ahh those were wonderful years, even though it didn't necessarily feel like it back then. That gym teacher of yours sure was a *****. Great writing as well, your vibrant personality shines through.