The Choice Was Never Mine....

I have been and continue to be raped by my brother. About a week ago I found out I was pregnant. I kept it a secret and prayed that as rough as my brother was that it wouldn't hurt the baby. I never knew of it was him or his friends. I never decided if I wanted to keep it, abort it or give him or her up for adoption. I was not happy with the idea of killing the baby, nor would giving my hold to be raised by someone else my first choice but I only realized that after my brother hit me in the stomachs so hard that I spent the night in excruciating pain as I miss carried in the bath tub. He didn't care... My parents were out of town as usual and he just laughed at me. It was right then that I knew I had wanted to raise my baby my little liam or my predacious arrora. What I would give now to have them inside my belly again. I'll never know what it would have been like to her there voice or watch him or her play. Bu even as my brother still rapes me I pray I don't get pregnant by him again. I don't want to feel the pain, not the physical pain, but the emptyniss that was left after.