We Still Love You

well, i want you to know that i miss you :/ i've been trying not to get so upset lately about you being gone, since only me & your daddy knows about you. i don't know how i would even begin to tell your grandparents about it? so i have to stay strong & fight back the tears most the time.
anyways, you would be 3 months in about 6 days (: i could picture life with you here, i know that coming home from school to you could brighten these bad days i've been having :/ i think daddy's been thinking about you too, he was crying the other day when i went to see him. your dad has never cried in front of me. so you know you're special to him too.
i keep looking at my stomach & it brings tears to my eyes to know you're not in there.
yeah, it would of caused some problems if you was here & it would of been kinda' hard to handle you along with all these problems that we're having right now. but baby , i want you to understand that you're gone for a reason. i just recently understood why you went to live with God, you would of been born at a bad time . . . it's not your fault though . mommy is dealing with so much at this moment that i never thought would happen, your grandpa is dealing with a lot & so is your dad :/ it would of been too hard with you here. but don't get me wrong, i would of loved seeing your face everyday, holding you, spending time with you, even waking up with you late at night, taking you to doctor appointments, i wouldn't of mind working long hours just for you to be taken care of, i would of done any & everything for you. but now, you're in such a better place :) i hope you understand? this wasn't even my choice, God knew this was for the best & did this for us.
i just wanted to write you & explain a little of this to you . i was just sitting here listening to music when a song called " to my unborn child" by Jon Young came on. it made me think about you. so i figured i'd write you, just so you know you haven't been forgotten <3 just because you didn't make it to earth, doesn't mean you're any different from the rest of the babies that live with there parents. . . . . you're a special little baby, that gets to watch over his family & gets to live in an amazing place (:
before i end this letter, i want you to know that me & your dad might be getting matching tattoos for you (: i'm going to draw the perfect tattoo for us to get . & this will be my first tattoo, so i hope you feel special ! lol, usually i wouldn't be for an idea your dad has, but it's for you & i want it to be a way of you being with me all the time <3
well, mommy loves you oh so much ! ! ! ! & i miss you just as much ! but i have to get some sleep, but i will write you again soon. i hope you're doing good. & i promise, we'll be with you one day & until then you won't be forgotten.
xoxoxoxo- love mommy ♥
brie0711 brie0711
18-21, F
Sep 1, 2012