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I Had A Miscarriage At 12 Weeks :( !

In December of 2012 I realized I was late a week, but I decided to wait one more to get tested because I had pain like I was ovulating or so. I thought it was the stress of college. The week came and the pain continued , my breasts were very swollen, but it didn't came. The 21st my boyfriend was jocking about that, wondering how we would named him/her etc . Then on December 24, 2012 decided to get tested. I was very nervous because it was my first time, but I still felt calm because if it resulted positive and I've always dreamed to be a mother, but although it was not planned. So it came out Positive, I called my boyfriend and told him, he was shocked, but quickly came to be with me after receiving such wonderful news. I did not tell my parents, because they are very strict and although I am an adult, they think if I live under their "roof " I have to follow their rules. Maintaining the relationship with my boyfriend had been very difficult, because since the beginning my family have opposed, but we loved each other and we fight for it, same thing we decided to do for our baby. As soon as I found out, I started taking prenatals and eating well. After two weeks I could not take it anymore, I had not gone to see if everything was well with my little angel, so I decided to tell my parents. It was very difficult, they bothered, insulted me, etc. but as an adult I hold all their words, al I care was of my baby. Right after telling them, I had appointment with a gynecologist and when I went, and I had already 8 weeks, he sent me to do an ultrasound and thank God everything was fine. Those weeks later, and every day I kept watching myself and loving my baby more and more. Last week I started to feel strange, but I thought it was because of the pregnancy so I ignore it. Then on Tuesday of that week, I was in college and before class I went to the bathroom and I realized I was spotting. I quickly called my cousin because she is a mother and told her what was happening; she told me to call the gynecologist. I called, they told me to go so the doctor could check me; then call my boyfriend and he picked me up. When the doctor checked me, I was not bleeding but to see if everything was ok, he sent me to do a sonogram. We were desperate, I had to wait two hours for it and then go the next day to pick the results, and take them to the doctor. That night I couldn't sleep, I was restless and started feeling severe pain, worse than when I'm on my period. On Wednesday at 11:30 am I still was in pain and at 1 pm we had to go to see the doctor. Before I go, I went to the bathroom and that's when I began to despair because I was bleeding and the pain was becoming stronger. When I look for the results of the sonogram, I found out that my baby had no heartbeat :'(. It said that the development of my baby was at 9 weeks and 4 days, when I was already at 12 weeks. That's when my world turn upside down and began to cry inconsolably as well as my boyfriend. The doctor try to calm us down but it was not easy. He checked me, and realize that the sag was broken and there was blood coming out. I quickly call my parents to tell them the news, because I had not said anything to not worry them. Then went home and gathered my things to go to the hospital, and at 10:30 pm I got a suction curettage. This writing falls short of all that happened in just two days, which I still feel like yestesday, since it was just six days ago, but to get it off my chest, I share it here. I just know that God knows why he makes things, but for more pain I feel, I have to do his will. Now I only know that both my boyfriend and I have a little angel in heaven watching over us. Certainly, February 6, 2013 is a date I will never forget.
itzyboo7 itzyboo7 18-21, F Feb 11, 2013

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