Daddy Left MeI was sitting in the living room with my little brother and we were coloring. I was 4 years old and he was 2. He has no memory of what is about to happen. My dad walks in to the kitchen and asks my mom for the keys.
He isn't fooling anyone. My mom knows exactly where he is going.
My father is a drug addict. To be more specfic he is addicted to heroin.
Right away my mom refuses my dad the car keys. She knows he is going to his dealer. My mother is just about done with this. I turn around with fear as I hear yelling. My clueless brother sits there and continues to draw his picture. Tears from my eyes flow down my cheek, I am also done with this. I am too young to realize what is really going on but I am done, done with all the fighting and screaming.
My mom is filled with so much anger. After all my dad has put her through, she can't handle it any longer. Out of rage she pushes him against the wall. All he does is just stand there. He believes no man should ever puthis hands on a women. I see this and can't help but ball my eyes out. I run upstairs to hide in my room. When I come down my mom puts my brother's coat on. She hands me my coat and says we are going for a walk. We lived near a beach so we just walked aalong the shore. She explained to me how none of this is my fault. I know that it wasn't my fault but deep down I have always felt I was the reason for the constant fighting. It starts to get dark and we walk back to my house.
We all walk into the door and he is gone.The keys are gone. The car is gone. He has one to his dealer. It is clear he has made his choice. My mom decides this can't go on anymore. My parents will divorce. Everything will change.
It is 4 years later, I am 8 years old and that memory still haunts me. It has been a year since my father has visited me. I am sitting in the car next to my 5 year old brother.My mom is in the front seat. I look to my left and out of amazement I see my dad about to knock on my door. I screamed so loud and was so happy. He looks over and sees us he has presents in his hand. It was only a couple days after my birthday. I wrap my arms around him and give him a long hug. He holds me nd tells me how much he missed me. Then he gives my brother a hug too. I am so overwelmed with happiness that I can't stop the tears. He leaves after only visiting for 15 minuets. He left. For the second time. He is gone. I have never felt so abanndon in my life.
I am now 13 years old. I haven't seen my father in 5 years. Notice how I said father and not dad. There is a difference. Anyone can be a father. It takes someone special to be a dad. He was once my daddy. He isn't in my life because he would rather shoot up than be with his kids. If he were to come back into my life I would be so happpy. I miss him everyday and hope for the day were I can once again call him daddy again instead of my father.