At 5'1, I'M Up To 170 Now And Fascinated With My Fat Rolls

I grew up in a huge extended family where all of the women were naturally thin and always berated me for eating and being slightly chubby in elementary school. In high school, I played on two sports teams, experimented with bulimia/anorexia and was never satisfied with my own body. In the last three years of college, I've slowly put on 50 pounds. In the past six months, as I gained 12 more pounds, I've begun to notice small and big changes to my body that I know I should be critical of, but secretly love and am fascinated by.

For example, my belly hangs out and pokes out a good 4 inches from my abdomen. When I'm sitting or crouching, it's difficult to breathe deeply because my huge deposit of fat is sitting on top of my ribcage. I've developed 3 distinctive rolls of fat between my boobs and crotch. No matter how hard I suck in, wearing jeans or other tight pants leaves a noticeable muffintop. My double chin is prominent now, and when I have sex the noises of my fat hitting my partner are so much louder. I've developed a triangle of fat on top on my pubic area (something I've never had) and love to pull at it. I love to take many pictures of myself where I'm overtly displaying my fat and videos where I'm jiggling and playing with my fat. I LOVE to gorge on massive amounts of food and water so my belly hangs out feels filled out -- I will just lay back on my bed for hours and pat my belly and caress all of my fat cleavages.

I know I ought to be careful about being unhealthy, but I'm so incredibly turned on and fascinated by this whole process!