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My Best Friend Was Someone I Never Had The Chance To Meet.....

My name is Dave and I am 42 years old. Sorry this is not an online long distant 'love story'! It is a call out by me to try to make sense of a realization I had when a friend passed away. I usually would not be offering my emotions publicly but I need to get this out and doing it anonymously seems harmless and might even help.

I do alot of business online and communicate with many people throughout the world on a regular basis. One such individual was David, a man 10,000 miles away who started out as a regular 'customer' of mine but became a friend over the years. I did not realize how good a friend he was until his passing August 13th 2011.

David was diagnosed with colon cancer in 2007 and over the course of 4 years while still doing business together he would tell me about his ongoing battle and although he remained ever the optimist I could detect some of his fears and saddness in his coversation. He told me his wife had died of cancer 10 years before his diagnosis and although he could deal with death he did not want to suffer in pain as his wife did. He had children but none were very close and I would feel sorry for him sometimes thinking about this frail 68 year old being all alone with only the company of his online friends. I am sure he had plenty of 'real-life' friends but I wondered at times if he would expose this side of himself to someone in the flesh.

David was old enough to be my father so I felt sometimes like his son a million miles away. This is weird but I sometimes wondered if he was really me in the future sent to contact (himself) to teach some lessons in his earlier life?? Strange I know... We all have a purpose in life and I'm sure David impacted many people, but the impact he made on my life is profound and I regret never having taken the chance to open up more to him. I only realized after his death what a great friend he was and wish I could have shared more of my life with him.

And this is where I think I need a shrink, you see I don't have alot of real-life friends but I am not without a few good lifelong friends that I speak to regularly so I am not some shut in or something. I ask, how can it be that the person I consider the best friend I have had in life thus far was a man 10,000 miles away that I never even met? I learned from David that I should never take for granted the offer of friendship from another human being.

Thank you for reading.
dbg1 dbg1 41-45 Mar 21, 2012

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