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But He's In Love With Me

I have a really good friend who is a guy and we got on really great, he's nice and caring and always makes me laugh when I am really down. We become really close friends but the problem is, he's fallen in love with me which is a problem because the more he sees me, the more it's hurting him so I have no choice but to stop seeing him until his feelings are at bay. It's hurts so much, I love hanging out with him and I do love him but only as friends. I have a boyfriend of 4 years who I love very much. It just saddens me how feelings get in the way of things, I'm not mad with him or anything because I know you can't help feelings, I'm just heartbroken that we can't hang out or anything because of how much I am hurting him. I told him we can still talk but he says it's not the same which is right really but at least we could still be friends. I think he wants to end the friendship for good which I don't blame him really, I'm just really going to miss him. He has been really great to me and I really appreciate what he has done for me. I just hope he can find a nice woman that he deserves because he can love someone who is a lot better than me. I hope that one day, we can be proper friends again. I really hate this, it hurts too much :'(
BeautyOfSuffering BeautyOfSuffering 22-25, F 7 Responses Jan 15, 2013

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I had a similar problem with a friend.
I didn't have a girlfriend, I just didn't see her that way.
A few years down the line and she came out as a lesbian.
We've been best friends since.
Relax, he'll find his girl and close friends can catch up on years in a day.

That's good, this has all blown over now and me and him are the bestest of friends again :)

Im sorry :/ i see u wrote this a while ago what happened are u guys still friends or in touch?

Yeah we sorted everything out and we're the best of friends again :)

aww that's great!! :D I'm glad you guys were able to figure it out.

Sometimes we have to make tough choices and that is just one of them, I think its called the process of growing up, sorry you lost him but I'm sure you will find someone else who will give you just as much support and encouragement.

Turning down a close is very hard and is very heart breaking. You may also see something good in him. Staying friends but not seeing him maybe good for both of you. Good luck in being who you are. Don't change who you are inside. That is what makes you, you.

Thank you :)

Aw I feel for you and your friend it's a difficult situation. I think you're doing the right thing by staying away it's the best thing you can do. Maybe in the meantime he'll bump in to someone wonderful, you never know. Good luck :)

Yeah I really hope so, he deserves it :)

Let him down gently I had the same in reverse and though not the same you can stay good friends hope so smile

Yeah I've told him that we can't see each other and he has agreed. We can still talk online while things calm down so it's not so bad.

Have you ever thought that maybe.... You just might love him back??

I don't love him in that way, he's just a good friend.

Okay. I was just wanting to bring that up and make sure.

That's ok

If you are such good friends, you should at least give dating a shot. It's pretty rare that two people are in love before their first date no matter how long they've known each other.

No way, I'm not going on a date with him. My love for him is entirely different to relationship love, I am already in love with my partner for 4 years, I'm not throwing all that away.

Ah... If you are in a 4 year relationship, then he's way out of line. No real going back to friendship after he has said he loves you. In my experience, women always know when one of their guy friends has feelings for her, but let it slide as long as he doesn't bring it up. Did you suspect before he said anything?

Yeah he was. I didn't see the point in him telling me that he loved me since it wouldn't make a difference but he kept saying it and was becoming obsessive so I have no choice but to cut the friendship or at least leave him for a while for his feelings to calm down. No I didn't suspect anything before hand, I just thought we were really good friends.

Most people who express emotions don't have a "point" in my opinion. lol... He should have kept it his problem instead of making it yours, but love makes you do crazy things. Maybe it's the latent romantic in me that thinks "at least he took a chance." Hopefully, he's learning to keep his **** locked down now.

Yeah that's exactly what he should have done but yeah you're right, love makes you do anything. I hope he's learning.

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