I Have a Bi-polar Friend

I have a friend who has bi-polar and I known him for a few years.  I met him at my old school back in 2004.  I didn't know he had bi-polar until he threaten another kid on the school bus with a knife because he was being teased and he had a violent outburst.  He carried a knife with him and pulled it out and threaten that kid.  Some other kids on the school bus had to talk him out of his anger.  I wasn't there when that happpened but he called me later that day and told me about it.  I felt bad and gave him some advice on how to stand up for himself without violence.  But his parents pulled him out of that school and he enrolled in another school.  He couldn't keep up with the new school he was at so he just dropped out.  He recently got his GED a few months ago and is intending to go to college soon in Nebraska.  He'll be leaving in a month but he just got fired from his job because of his bi-polar.  He keeps bringing knives to work and getting caught.   Plus, he'll go to work for only one hour and leave home because of his disorder.

When he threatened that kid on the school bus with a knife, he told me that he heard another person, deep inside of him of what to do and he obeyed that voice inside of him.  By pulling a knife out and threatening that kid.  He told me that on the phone.  I just listened and said nothing.  He recently got fired from a job at a casino, he was working in the custodial and he was caught with a box cutter.  Its kinda scary to be his friend, he wants me to go to the movies with him but thinking of it.  I really don't want to go anywhere with him because of his bi-polar and habit of carrying knives.  He could snap any moment and threaten me with a knife without warning or anything.  I wish he wasn't like that but he is.  I still want to be his friend and all but he can be a psycho at times.  Its sad.

I remember when we were going to school together.  He wanted a girlfriend, he tried to get me to be his girlfriend but I told him no and wanted to be friends.  So I offered to help him get a girlfriend.  It was funny, he would write notes to some of the girls who he likes and he'll have me give his notes to those girls.  No luck though, no girls wanted to be with him and I would pick some girls that seemed to be interested in him.  But he seen them and didn't want to be with them because they weren't his type.  He was picky of what girls he wants and I told him not to be that way but he was just that way.  So he gave up and left that school.  He now finds his girlfriends on the internet.  Sadly, they don't last that long.  He'll tell me about who he met and how he thinks he's really in love with them.  I listen and tell him to be good to those girls and wish him the best.  But it would turn out that his relationship would result in a failure and he'll get really sad and write poems about it or read about heartbroken poems on the internet.  He would call me and explained about his emotions on love.  I give him advice that he would be better off single than worrying about someone cheating, stealing, or bossing him.  He would ignore me and continue on.  I tell him that happens and to move on.  He'll just hang up on me.  And I just leave him alone for a while.  Finally, I told him that I don't want to hear about his failing romance because I'm not part of it.  I had to convinced him to stop telling me about his love life and he stopped.

When I took off to boarding school, he would call me everyday and I would talk to him and he'll tell me about his frustrations about his friends, home, and relationships.  I'll listen and try to help him out.  But he'll get the point of where he thinks he can get me to be his girlfriend and I tell him that I don't like that way.  This must of happened over 5 times.  So I stop answering his calls because he would try to tell me dirty stuff like sex and all.  I stop him and he'll get all giggly and I tell him to stop and he'll try to flirt with me on the phone.  So I'll hang up and stop answering his calls.  Its a crazy friendship.  But sad thing is, I get the impression that he's a pervert and a weirdo because of his topics and desperately wanting a girlfriend.  He'll get really depressed because he can't get a girlfriend and I tell him not to be that way and he gets more depressed and I leave him alone for a while.  Then, I just stop talking and emailing him for over a year.  Right now, we're okay.   I'm really glad that he's leaving off to college and I hope he stays there.  Also, I wish that guy the best in the future.

I have this other friend.  She was bi-polar and she would get happy at times and sad.  She would get really sad and talk about running away.  I tell her not to and she would be in BIG trouble if she did.  She was a foster kid and that was hard to handle because her foster parents were abusive and she was African-American.  She had a little sister too and they were both in the same foster home and their foster parents were white and treating them like slaves.  It was really harsh and sad to see what was happening to them.  They always had to clean up the house and were verbally and emotionally abused from their foster dad.  Their foster mom was always at work or never at home.  The foster dad had a few kids and those kids were no better.  The daughter was always bossing them around and saying rude things to those 2 girls.  It was sad to see.  But the girl, she would be really sad and tell me about her problems with her foster parents.  I tried my best to help her out and tell her to report the abuse.  She did after a year of staying under their care and she lives 8 hours away from me now.  But she was a good person to know and I kind of consider ourselves as Spongebob and Patrick.  LOL.  But she stopped hanging out with me for a while and got into the wrong group.  I just left her alone because she looked up that bad group a lot.  Whenever she came to me for help, I would be there for her and her little sister. 

I have a few other bi-polar friends who I met in boarding school.  One of them was a girl who said she has bi-polar but I think she takes a great advantage of her disorder for a excuse of her trouble making schemes.  The other one was real bad.  He uses violence to get people to agree with him or just to be a bully.  He hits girls and says a lot of nasty, rude, demeaning things to girls.  He would say that stuff to me but I just ignore him because he's ignorant.. LOL.  But it was scary to be his friend because he would snapped in a few moments and get violent.  He pushed me a few times because of his bi-polar, I pushed him back and told him not to be pushing girls.  He would ignore me and I just shrugged it off because he mentally handicapped.  Sad though, because I watched this poor, little, boy changed in boarding school, he became corrupt and spread nasty, awful rumors about people.  I'll be one of the first people he told and he'll laugh about it.  I just watch him laugh and nod my head in disagreement.  I tell him he's silly and funny to be doing that and he'll proud of his work.  I really didn't think much of it but the kid was cool to hang out with a few times.  He was comical and crazy when he was alright but I just laughed at his "evil plans" to sabotage his enemies.  He sounded like a little 8 year old in 3rd grade or something.  He was alright though.  The other one, she was bi-polar and had manic depression.  She had both arms that had multiple scars from self-destruction but no longer cutted herself.   She found another way to release her anger and pain by art.  She drew of what was bothering her in surreal art and she was a good drawer.  She was okay to know at first but she became corrupt and awful.  She always played mind games with another boy there and with me and our other roommate.  She would get angry with our other roommate and excuse herself of her bi-polar.  Our roommate accepted the apologies but grew tired of it after she kept using her bi-polar too many times and got herself in trouble with other kids and a little bit of the staff.  My roommate and I figured out that she was taking advantage of her bi-polar to get out of trouble and to get her way.  We both thought it was dumb and sad so we just both left that room, leaving her by herself a little while.  Her friends moved in with her and that was it.

What I learnt from bi-polar that its a common disorder and must be diagnosed immediately.  Its kind of hard to cope with people that have bi-polar but you just have to be patient with them and understand them.  For me, it was frustrating at times but I managed to cope with it by leaving them alone or trying helping them.  For those who have bi-polar and read this.  I'm just writing this because its a experience and I'm not trying to make bi-polar sound bad or anything.  If I did, I apologize.  I have friends who have bi-polar and try my best to be there for them.  Well, that's it and thank you for reading this.

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1 Response May 26, 2009

That was a moving story, I have a friend and she and her mom are both bipolar (though not as severely)