Admitted, But Not Realized!

After 10 years of marriage, my wife is finally comfortable confiding in me her genuine interest in other women.  A friend of mine I went to high school with,  the wife of a good friend from grad school and most recently her last boss.


As comfortable as she is sharing her physical attraction, she is too shy and too conservative by nature to do anything to try and move from attraction to reality.  Not surprisingly, I have encouraged her desire for years - telling her that my desire is more to see her be with another woman.  I very much would like to help get over the hurdle of her conservatism. I would welcome your actual experiences and/or recommendations.

I am a professional and she is a stay at home mom.  By my user name - women in jeans are a fettish for both of us ;)

Thank you!


womennjeans womennjeans
5 Responses Feb 27, 2010

MikeandDeb<br />
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Hello there. Thank you for your post. I think its terrific there's a place where such a "hush hush" topic can be discussed discretely.<br />
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I appreciate your caution, you're not the first. I do, however, recognize that these are innate feelings / desires my wife has. She has alreach approached a friend, but told her the desire is sexual, not so much relationship oriented.<br />
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I know we could certainly benefit from a bit more info on how your wife first "crossed the chasm" For us its really now in my wife's friends court.<br />
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Love to hear from you<br />

Tread carefully. My wife started a relationship with a woman about five years ago that lasted for about a year. During that time I felt that given the right circumstances that she would decide to be a full lesbian. Although I enjoyed a friendship with her girlfriend and knew about her relationship with her girlfriend they developed an emotional closeness to each other. Our sex life suffered a bit during this time as My wife preferred to have sex with her girlfriend than with me. Things got a bit more complicated but the short of it was my wife broke it off because she was in love with her girlfriend but didn't want to give up her family. <br />
Just be careful you don't lose you wife.

My wife finally crossed the bridge and reached out to a friend to tell her she found her very attractive - sexually. The friend has been extremely responsive - while she has not said yes to her, she also has not said no. Waiting anxiously!!!

Story sounds close to home,,I had to let the wife know that her friend was ( interested) in her and let her friend know that they ought to get together,,,and have a girls nite out !! Things took off from there!!!

I understand the sentiment and caution behind rivitt's comment. After 10 years of marriage I hope your relationship is strong enough that it can be expanded to include this extra activity, while keeping the core commitment to each other. <br />
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My wife also had to overcome her conservative background to admit and start acting out. I think the key for her was that we became friends with an open minded group, and she became comfortable that it was not a perversion. When it was in the context of people she cared about as friends, the demonization of homosexuals that was ingrained in her eroded away.<br />
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While my wife has yet to take the final plunge, her admitting this attraction has been great for our relationship. I hope it has the same effect for you.