I'm Scare Of Losing Him And He's Not Even Mine

I ended 2 and a half year relationship in august.
I joined dating website not because I was ready for another relationship. I simply think that is another good way of meeting new people.
My purpose is to make new friends not dating or relationship stuffs.
I met several guys, but they were not what i was looking for. I want to make friends and possibly friend with benefit. NOT one night stand type. I wanna have fun and still enjoy each other company as a friend. Some guys wants to date around. Some wants to just...well...****. Some are just too nice and sweet.

Well time passed by..... about 3 weeks ago, I met HIM.
We chat for a while, then traded our phone numbers.
A week later, I finally meet up with him, and he is cute. Definitely good for eye candy.
We just hangout, drinks, and just talk with one of his roommate.
We cuddled, and just kiss.

I knew I like him after talking to him for a bit.

We hangout again and that is when we share what we wanted.
He just got out from relationship also, so he does not want girlfriend.
We agree that we just gonna have fun and enjoy ourselves. We make out just make out no sex. Even when i just wanna have fun, I still dont want to just give myself up like that.

Just so happen that I LIKE HIM A LOT. but i dont want to pursue anything though because I still want to be single and have fun. I like him to be my friend with benefit.

It sucks though because I dont want him to know that I like him this much. I believe that the only way for me to get closer to him is still let him think I just want to hangout and have fun with him.

He is on my mind every minutes. I am scare that he will see that I like him from how I talk to him or whenever I ask him to hangout.

He is new in town so he doesnt really know anyone here except his bestfriend which is his roommate.

He went home for Thanksgiving. He was gone 7 days. We didnt talk or text for 7 days. He came back tonight. I call him while he is on his way back in town.

We talked on the phone for a bit. yes I mentioned that I would like to hangout with him sometime soon. Then he broke the bad news on me. He is only come in town for 3 more weeks then he will go back home for 3 months.

my problem is, I wan to hangout with him as much as possible well when he wants too before he go back home.

I'm scare that these 3 weeks I wont be able to hide my feeling.
If he knows, he wont be my friend anymore.
Or should I do whatever and be myself, so he can see what I'm all about, may be I might have chance?
Should I even try because I am sure he really does not want to be in relationship at this time?
I dont mind if he does not find out, but what I am scare is he WILL find out because it is super hard to hide my feeling. I dont want relationship with him.

All I want is just to be near him. I really enjoy his company.

thinkwayyytoomuch thinkwayyytoomuch
Nov 27, 2012