Surrounded By Bipolar

My maternal grandmother is bipolar, as are my two maternal aunts, and while my mom hasn't been officially diagnosed, she is almost certainly bipolar as well.

This disease has wrecked a great deal of havoc on my family. 

It manifests itself in different ways.  I think my grandmother is "classically" bi polar -- has extreme mood shifts, has manic periods followed by depressed periods, views people as angels or devils (no in between), is extremely sensitive, worships her son but hates her daughters. 

Another one of of my aunts is extremely manipulative and also has a great deal of anger.  She is the type that will smile and hold your hand while she plunges the dagger in the back.

She pleads for forgiveness but once has your ear does her best to destroy the reputations of others. 

My mom has manic phases where she expresses extremely poor money management, sensitivity, and a penchant for alcohol.  She was (and I say *was*) sober for two years up until a few days prior to this writing, when she drank a good deal of wine and then told me I was the devil and said some nasty things to me (I've kind of cleaned up this section).

I am still uncovering family secrets about all of these relatives who cannot control themselves as a reuslt of this disease.

I found out a year ago I was borne out of wedlock, which I didn't know before; that my dad was still married to his first wife when he met my mom (I'm sure there's more to be uncovered there); that my mom had affairs while they were married; the list goes on.

My mom -- in fact all my relatives touched with this disease -- are also constant liars and will lie about the smallest things. 

My relatives all have had run-ins with the law, and I have just finished paying off this restitution on behalf of my mom to spare her jail time.  

I worry about my two little sisters who are growing up now with my mom.  Right now I am just trying to move out and get my own life in order, then I can deal with this horrible illness that has caused so much destruction. 

Out of all my family I think my dad had genuine love for me.  He's dead now though.  I don't think it's possible for someone to love you while they are lost in a debilitating mental illness.   I think I must be cursed to have to deal with all of this.  There's no cure for bipolar disorder, and if someone won't admit that they have it, then they will refuse to learn from their experiences, no matter how destabilizing. 
Seraph1m Seraph1m
26-30, M
2 Responses May 6, 2007

Both my mother and sister have BPD2, and everything you say rings home. My mother is quite well off, but my sister is hell on earth. Lying, manipulating and verbal abuse are her tools of choice. At one point, her behaviour made me fear for my parents' marriage. <br />
My mother, on the other hand, is well medicated and easy to deal with- when on her meds. The problem is that BPD is not a disorder that can be treated solely through therapy or understanding, because it is a chemical imbalance in the brain.

Hey King,<br />
I know what you mean about havoc. My brother has BPD, and has been on meds for about 5 years now. He made my life way back in high school the worst days of my life living in embarrassment, ashamed of him as well as myself. He continues to turn my family inside out still. <br />
Just when I think everything will be okay, something else seems to happen. I've never experienced anything quite like my brother with BPD. I continue to try to support him and the rest of my family, but sometimes I think it's just all in vain. It's a struggle everyday to accept and love him for who he is and what he has. I, myself, have just recently been looking into BPD support groups. I've found that it's too hard to handle on my own all the time.<br />
<br />
I do hope that life is going okay for you. It's tough always having that around, and I know you've been finding out things about yourself too. Best wishes for the future. I'm always around if you want to talk too.