.... Some Stuff Off My Chest...this is strange for me to be doing....
first thing i want to mention is i love my girlfriend more than anything...and her son...our boy... hes the light of my life.
i knew all along that my girlfriend has bipolar... ive known her since i was young, she was in my old group of friends. and its always been a known fact that she suffers from a few mental health issues. and this is fine.
we had a tough slog to get together, it was hard, and now were here. in our "relationship" that weve wanted for the past year. were together.
and its everything ive ever wanted and more, her son, ive been in his life for the past year and the bond that we have is amazing, its like hes my own boy. and i treat him that way too.
i try you know, i try and help, i keep the house organised, help out with our boy, those sort of things.
i used to feel that i helped her feel better... that i calmed everything down. then i moved in a couple of months ago, just before christmas. and its all fine
but some days i feel i cant do anything right, that im walking on eggshells.. that i dont know what to do with myself. i took it upon my self to start making sure she was taking her pills...(something she HATES doing).. and things were really good for a while. she had more energy, and we were al really happy. then a few days ago i got ill...(just a 24 hour bug thing) and she went off track from the pills. i need to start giving them to her again...
i just cant trust her to take them.
i love the life im living and i chose this relationship knowing the ins and outs b4 i committed and moved in. this is what i want.
but it dosnt help that some days i find it hard. and the hardest thing of all i find is that i just wish i could make her better... but the truth is... she will never be better. this kills me. i hate it.
but i cant help who im in love with.
just seeing the person that means the world to me feel the way she does rips me apart inside.
oonas 18-21, F 4 Responses 0 Jan 31, 2012