Another Medical Concern...thank You Fate

I'm begining to think that I killed a president in another life or something. I have baffled my doctors yet again. The first time was a few years ago when i had a stroke and a seizure that led to a bleed on the brain, at the age of 20. I was healthy a bit overweight my doctor said but I lost wieght in the hospital stay. I was there for a month. This year just a week after my 23 birthday, my leg started really hurting. Like the pain was unbearable and I could barely walk on it, and it swelled up..

I went to the doctor and they did a ultrasound on it and found a blood clot or a DVT I think its called. They were freaked because it was in the process of moving towards my lungs. I was in the hospital this time for a week and a half. I had to get shots in my stomach every day and take pills as you guys know. At the time the clot was in the back of my thigh towards my butt. I had been on it for about 2 months when they shorten the doses from 10 mg to about 3 mg, but it was an agressive blot clot and it came back. It moved from my thigh to my left foot and thats where it still is. I recently was able to stop giving myself shots and now all I have left is the pills everynight.

I'm constantly told, i have to be careful when I do things because of the blood thinners. I cant drink with my friend(usually I was the designated driver anyways, but this illness took away my choice) At the moment, they have no idea when I can get off the medicine, I cant have certain vegetable, which is killer because I actually like leafy things. Recently my doctor wants me on this birth control that is 99.9% effective, and it can last up to 10 years. i'm 23, I want kids, I wanna live and this is taking it away from me.

I'm a relationship, and though he knows my pass history I havent told him anything about this. All he knows is I was in the hospital but now I'm better. I'm afraid of dumping this on him and him finally saying..I cant handle this, we're done. So I havent told him, this is causing me so much stress. My doctors were confused because blood clots do not run in my family, and yet I just got it randomly They have now determined that bleed from a few years ago, is the culprit, that was their guess anyways. So they still dont truthfully know.

I have gotten stuck with so many needles I have lost count, and my arms are bruised from the taking blood so much. The nurses at the coumadin clinic are well aware who I am. And I am so tired of their sad smiles in my direction when I come in. That makes me feel more horrible then you will ever know. I'm tired of hearing that I am the youngest in the clinic, and that usually the ones who get it are in their 40's or higher. I have to go in about twice a week, and the clinic is on speed dial. The videos I had to watch on how to stay safe showed older retired people. I REFUSE to give up skateboarding for bridge..I dont even know what that is lol.

Call me stupid if you like, but I'm in that part of my life where I'm almost done with school and I wanna see the world. I wanna travel everywhere I can. Nothing not even this new medical concern is gonna stop me. It seems like just like my life gets almost back on track, something comes along and knocks me off. And then my doctor wonders why I'm not happy.

Thank you fate, you have been great too me. Whoever I wronged in that other life, i am SOO sorry.
CaliGurl2007 CaliGurl2007
26-30, F
May 25, 2012