I've had a fetish for pain and blood for as long as i can remember, when times were tough i went back to my forever loyal "friend". The razor. This was a way for me to release the endorphins needed to stay sane at the time. Without the use of drugs. I was very secretive about this, never did i intentionally show my marks. I always wore Gothic attire, so nothing strange there to other people why i would be wearing a trench in the summer? I was fourteen back then so i was naive to think that this cutting situation wouldn't grow to become something serious. Even when i wasn't emotionally strained i felt the need to cut my arm due to the fixation of me and watching my blood drip off my arm..this led to rubbing it over my body and even sucking it. Now i kept this a very deep dark secret, until years later (recently) i grew curious and decided to research this subject. I still have this fixation to blood. I have the wildest fantasy to **** someone covered in mine and his blood. Although the amount of blood needed for this is a bit extreme it would all be in good taste.