Lossing My Mom To Liver Cancer

Hi, my name is Maria

I`m from Santa Barbara

I lost my mom to liver cancer, she past away in Valentine Day 2009, My mom only had me and my sister, My mom had been battling cancer for a few years, had a few kimos and was always feeling tired and was losing allot of weight. My mothers death has been hard to deal with, I have a sister who is 19 and thinks a hole different she wasn't there to see what my mom was going trough. I use to do most of the things for her and one day she had almost given up and just seem like the day was going to be the day well another day past and many family members were with her and I step out to but some food when I come back I was very opening the door when I see my sister and her dad walking down stairs with tears in her eyes and jut saying shes sleeping , I run up and hug her and I remember screaming out to her not to leave me and since the day I felt like I left her alone because I had promise to be with her into her last moments and it all happen pretty fast I was only seconds late. Well know it`s almost a year on Feb.14 and I still feel the same way, I rather be alone, and spend my time crying out for her and is hard because I live in the same condos and seeing her car, house and is just to much to handle, I continue school , I graduated these year but she won`t be here to see  me. I miss her allot , there's not even a day I don`y cry for her. My husband does`t` seem to understand me, I have asked him if we could move but all he said is that there's no money for us to do the change, I`m tire of feeling like this I want her back. I can act like I`m OK in front of people but my time alone is where I lose myself completely. I often wander my self if I`m doing the right thing in staying hers in the same condos!

navarro1 navarro1
26-30, F
2 Responses Feb 10, 2010

Im losing my mum now to liver cancer, i don't know who to talk to because i don't know anyone else who is going through this. My mum has just turned 53 and i was with her at diagnoses which was in August 2011 when she was told we were both just stunned i was really upset couldn't stop crying but we tried to keep a positive fr<x>ame of mind. It's now end Feb it has been pretty much 7 months now and i have noticed a drastic change she has lost so much weight and her stomach is sticking right out and the mood swings are really really bad, it's so hard I'm hoping she will pass soon because i can't handle her suffering anymore. Just thought i should share this maybe you could let me know what to expect next because i have no idea and I'm quite frankly frightened :(

You poor thing! My heart goes out to you. It's such a sad thought and I know it's worse then i can even imagine. My mom had a hysterectomy a few years ago. When she found out she had cancer she was so scared and I would let myself believe that anything would happen to her. By the end she had me scared too. but, i'd think to myself, she's my closest friend. I've only lost two people in my life. When I was pregnant the first time, my step brother passed away in a very sad way. Then seven years later I was pregnant the second time and it was my cousin. Again in a very sad way. But, is there any other way really. I know it was a coincidence, but i'm not going to have anymore children. <br />
My mom is doing well. I thank my lucky stars. I don't leave or let her leave without a hug and a kiss on her cheek. Telling her I love her and thanking her for stuff. I treat every time like it might be the last. <br />
I am so very sorry for your lose.