Email "Boyfriend" Vs Real Life

I met a boy when I was an exchange student in Japan, and I fell for him, but I returned to America before I told him. He sent me an email, asking me to be his girlfriend, and the he would ask me formally when I returned in a year for college. Needless to say, I was extremely happy.

I have had an email relationship with him, and I really liked him for the first half a year, but it's been a year now, and I have another 8 months before I go to Japan again.

He sort of stopped emailing me, and he doesn't really respond to my emails. So my affection is waning...

I have met another guy who I've started to have a major crush on, and I'm pretty sure he likes me too, and I want to go out with him, but I don't know what to do about my current "boyfriend."

I've never had a real boyfriend before, and my email "relationship" is not what someone would call experience. I don't want to hurt him, but at the same time, I really don't know if he even likes me anymore. I'm sure if I was in Japan, I don't know if I'd feel this way, but the lack of actually being with him makes my feelings fade. 

And now there is another guy who I feel a great amount of affection for, and if I wasn't already with my boyfriend I wouldn't hesitate to ask him out.

So now I'm stuck at a crossroad...

Do I "break-up" with my boyfriend and ask my new crush out?
Do I stick with my boyfriend, and stay as friends with my crush?
Do I risk asking my crush out and seeing what he says before breaking up with my boyfriend?

Anyone care to help a dating newbie out?

edenrising edenrising
18-21, F
1 Response Oct 11, 2008

Interesting one I must admit. First and foremost you have to understand that we live in a world where the internet has made it possible for the world to be within reach of our fingertips. With this new closeness comes more or less the same kind of respect and moral responsibility when we go about making new friends online. It is understandable that out of sight can be out of mind and distance can also make the heart grow fonder. It can swing both ways. But what you need to do is take a mature approach and deal with it as best as possible. By actually contacting your online friend in Japan and telling him what you are feeling. Make it clear that it is important for you to know where your relationship stands if there is one. If not...then it's best to move things forward. Communication is key. You might also have to reassess on what level of attraction you are with both these guys. The pros and cons of your feelings. But making sure you don't hurt anyone.<br />
At the end of the day go by instinct. That always works. And try to enjoy yourself!:) Be happy. Thats very important.<br />
Hope that helps.Good luck!