I Have A Boyfriend, But My Ex Is My Soulmate.

I am so confused and have no where else to turn.

I fell in love in 2012 in a way I had never felt before. I had loved before, but not like this. He was different. We had a summer of beautiful romance before we both returned to university. He began developing depression in the autumn and slowly began to slip away from me despite my constant support and love. Eventually, he ended things with me at the start of 2013, despite my desire to work things through. He told me that he couldn't give himself to me entirely. He said he felt confused by what love was because the longest he had been single in 5 years was a mere 3 months... he couldn't tell whether what he was feeling was love or not.

We remained in contact and could not dull the flame of lust... we had always been so physically attracted to one another and our chemistry was so strong it was impossible to ignore. Within two months of breaking up we began casually sleeping with each other again which I knew was a stupid idea because it was stopping me from moving on... but I couldn't help myself.

In spring 2013, I met someone new. I liked him. He was sweet and kind and funny and took a real interest in me. We began dating. I really enjoyed the time we spent together and gradually my ex boyfriend became less important to me. We would still meet up, but the heavy burden of seeing someone new and having him be blissfully unaware was killing me. When I told my ex, he was utterly devastated. I was so shocked to see him so upset. He told me that he didn't have feelings for me anymore and that he didn't understand why he was so upset because he was the one who broke up with me... it was incredibly confusing for me. Why should he be so heartbroken? Things were difficult between us after this. We did not speak much and he often passed snide comments about my new boyfriend which showed his bitterness clear as day.

The summer progressed and we hardly spoke. We hadn't seen each other for a couple of months and I had well and truly fallen in love with my new boyfriend. I was so happy, but I knew that the love I was feeling was not the same as the love I had felt with my ex but I know how love grows and that each love is different... I was content. My boyfriend is lovely. He is generous, emotionally stable, self assured, decisive... his family adore me and my family adore him. He is perfect for me and so different from my ex, but my feelings are just not as strong.

Late summer of 2013... I meet with my ex to catch up after his emotions had calmed down and he had come to terms with the fact that I had moved on. We had so much fun together and our feelings began to reignite. We admitted this to one another but carried on as normal. As time has gone on my feelings have grown for him more and more and it is getting to the stage where I am becoming unable to cope with the strong emotions I feel for him. It is affecting my relationship with my boyfriend... I no longer feel as sexually attracted to him because the sexual relationship I had with my ex was so powerful and passionate that I cannot think about sleeping with another man. I think about him night and day and long for his touch and his love.

I am so confused as to what I want. I know that in the future I want for me and my ex to be together again, to get married, to have children together... I see my long term future with that man... But I know in my heart that right now is not the time for us to be together. I want to believe in fate. I want to believe that time will bring us back together at a time which is right for us both. I know that right now I should stop communicating with him and concentrate on the lovely man I am lucky enough to call my own. But I know I can never love him the way that I love my ex... so surely I should end it with my current boyfriend? Which right now will be impossible as we are going on holiday together next month and I am taking him away in January... how stupid this sounds.

I am so upset with myself but how can you possibly move on from finding your soulmate and having him slip away?
0208r 0208r
1 Response Nov 18, 2013

you should end your relationship with you boyfriend. Trust me, i went through the same situation but i stayed with my boyfriend who is now my husband and we have kids together,but the pain i feel inside of me every time i remember my ex is too deep and too strong that i still want to see him or talk to him but at the same time i don't want to betray my husband who has been so good with me since day 1 and he does nothing else than live for me and our kids while im just thinking about my ex. i feel like im hurting my husband without him known it, if that makes sense . i know is terrible and i really love my husband but love is different in every person. i just think that my husband deserves someone that could love him us much as he loves me i just can't give him that much love when i am thinking about someone else =(
he gave me the life i ever wanted but i don't feel fool in my heart...maybe i will meet my ex in my next life.