My ex and i met in august 2012 and we both fell in love immediately. i was in love before but this was something different and i knew this was real. it was nothing like what i felt in high school. This man was different. The way he made me feel was overwhelming. We had a beautiful relationship and i could feel myself growing more and more in love and i knew he was too just by the way he looked at me. We made so much love and i had sex before with my high school love but this was love. making passionate love and we would all night. when we argued and made up and just long nights we spent in bed holding eachother being so intimate. we had a year together and we ended things because he grew unhappy that we were both so far away from eachother it was tiring. i was torn up. he contacted me again and he told me how much he missed and loved me untill we tried again and things just didn't work out and we ended it again. But eventhough we both tried dating again we always found our way back to eachother. We promised eachother someday in the future we will be married and have babies. We met up and we made love again just like old times and we held eachother all night, that was just a couple months agao. Things got rough again so we decided to just take a break to focus on things keeping us busy but still promising eachother we will find our way to eachother. This may just not be our time together now but in the future. Well i met someone new i like him and he really likes me. He is a great man and we have fun together. But there is something missing. i know i can never feel for him the way i have for my ex. i find myself crying and missing him so much every night and longing for his touch and to just hold him and have him hold me again. and wishing that everytime i spend with this new guy it was my ex. I believe my ex and i are soulmates, and he believes it too eventhough we haven't been speaking.I can sense it. But i know that it's not fair to the new man in my life. i can't hurt him but it's also unfair to me to be with someone i'm never going to be in love with like that. i want to be happy but i don't want to hurt him but i want to be with who i meant to be with. i know that we will find our way back to eachother, we always do. i know with all my heart that day will come. but i'm scared because i don't want to tell my new guy. he's wonderful my family really likes him. But i can't stop thinking about my ex and missing him and wanting our relationship back, i miss his family and his friends. i don't know what to do. i want to be with who i'm met for and i don't think its the new guy. i'm so confused :(
AngelMarie12 AngelMarie12
26-30, F
May 27, 2014