He Left This Morning, And I'm A Wreck. :( Please Help!

My boyfriend left this morning for a nine-month deployment to Afghanistan, and I'm a freakin' wreck.  My heart truly goes out to anyone who has ever or who will ever go through this.

SG and I have been together for six months, which won't sound like very long to some of you, but we have an amazing relationship, and we're very much in love. Neither of us can see ourselves with anyone else, and, provided that we make it through this deployment (WHICH I'M DETERMINED TO DO!), I'm pretty positive he's The One. I love this guy with everything I have, and at 30 years old, I don't think I'm exactly jumping the gun here. ;)

Saying goodbye was the most awful thing I think I've ever had to do. I wanted to just never let go. I pretty much broke down, and although he's one of the least sentimental guys I know, even he was having a hard time. I don't even know how many times we said, "I love you," or how many tears were spilled. Oh, god, it was heartbreaking. 

He's been incredibly supportive of me, telling me to use this time to focus on myself and my career, and I've tried to support him in every way I can, too. I hate this. I feel like my heart has been ripped in two, and it will only be whole again when he comes back. 

I know the beginning (and probably the waiting toward the end) is the worst part... Can anyone please help? How did you get through the first few days, weeks, months? He's not even going straight to base, so we won't be able to establish a regular communication schedule for at least a few weeks. The longest we've ever gone without seeing each other is about 12 days, and not talking to each other? Try more like two or three days. Luckily, he bought a global phone on the same service I have, so we can make calls and text for relatively cheap, but from what I hear, the Internet/Skype is shoddy at best where he's going to be. 

Anyway, if anyone has advice on how to get through these first few days and weeks, I'd SO appreciate it if you would share. I'm freaking out over here. I feel like I'm missing my other half. :(

Thank you! --- Eryenne
eryenne eryenne
26-30, F
4 Responses Jul 2, 2011

I never had the chance to isolate myself. I had school and work and didn't have a chance to be sad really. I mean it definitely affected my school work for that week when he left but I was forced to come out and see people because of classes. However, I couldn't bring myself to talking much because every thought I had was of him. My friends didn't know how to console me and I didn't know how to have them help. Still every now and then I don't feel like going out and wanna sit at home. But I try to limit when I'm sitting at home alone because it is really lonely.

Thank you both so much. I'm feeling a little better today; I was able to get out of bed, take a shower, and see a friend for a little bit, at least. He called a few times last night from different airports, and he texted this afternoon to say he'd made it safely to their first destination and that he loves me and he'll call soon. Hearing from him buoyed my spirits quite a bit. Friends have been trying to get me to go to barbecues and other holiday celebrations, but I just don't want to have to be "on," especially around people I don't know... Does that make sense? I want to be able to sit with close friends, or just my dog, and I don't want to wear makeup that'll probably just get cried off in a moment of weakness, anyway. BUT, I know this isolation can't last forever, or I'll get seriously depressed. How long did it last for you guys?

My fiance left on deployment May 11th. I was a wreck and on top of that i was at school and my cell phone wasn't working so i couldn't really talk to him while he was waiting to leave. At school we were watching a video about how you can make your subconscious think things are ok. My teacher started saying how if you keep yourself thinking positive you can get through it. <br />
There is so much in life that you can smile and laugh about. Like looking forward to having a great future with an amazing man. <br />
I have 2 months down, 5 more to go. <br />
It's going to be hard. And there are days you just want to give up but your strong. You will make it (:

The best thing I can tell you is to do something to stay busy! And try to see people! I know that the last thing you feel like doing is going out and doing something but it will help. Also, another girl told me this on here are it really helps. Don't carry your worries, fears, and emotions over to the next day. Start every day fresh. It helps me a lot when I get into one of my self-pity modes. Honestly, the first 2 weeks are the hardest. Once you re-establish a routine without him and get used to missing him it will get a little better. You will still constantly think about him and it will drive you crazy sometimes! But you just gotta focus on those positive memories! Also, remember, this is not permanent. There is a light at the tunnel even though right now it might seem almost impossible. I'm 3 months down and 3 to go on this deployment and I am so ready for him to be home! Crossing the half way point felt really good and now it really feels like a countdown. You can be strong and do this!!! :) Be brave! Message me anytime you wanna vent or need support!