Any Advice?

I am new to Military (specifically Army) life, as my Soldier and I have only been together for about 6 months. The best 6 months of my life. Since we started seeing each other, we have been physically apart more than we have been together – thanks to my job and his deployments (SLC, and now JRTC). I have to tell you though, our relationship seems to get stronger and we get closer, despite the distance. I’m not going to pretend that I don’t miss him terribly with each passing minute of everyday, but I’ve somehow managed to make sure that I don’t nosedive into depression and wallow in sadness! Here’s the kicker though. He’s deploying to Afghanistan at the end of the year, and of course there is no workshop, no classes, no nothing for girlfriends of deploying Soldiers. No support to help me learn to be what HE needs be to be for him (before, during and after), and nothing out there to help ME learn what to expect or how to deal. I’ve been desperately searching for something – a book, an article, a class, a website.. and have been disappointed with what is out there for GIRLFRIENDS. Any advice?
sappersgirl sappersgirl
31-35, F
3 Responses Aug 22, 2011

Hey, at the departure ceremony I went to when my boyfriend left, there were counselors available to talk to and they also gave out calendars, pamphlets, letters, etc. about how to deal with the deployment. Some of the stuff was geared toward financial situations for wives and/or women who have children with their man, but some of the stuff I actually kept and read over and it helped a little least with the initial departure. If you are able to attend the ceremony, I would highly recommend it. :)

That's really good to know! I'll go to the Deployment Ceremony.. I wouldn't miss it. I'll have to take my best friend though so she can drive me home.. I'll be a hot mess once we're out of his sight! LOL!

Well there may be no official source of support for girlfriends but this website has helped me through our deployment! WE have about 6 weeks left of this 6 month deployment. This site has given me a perspective on what other girls are going through and everyone on here is really helpful and supportive! I think most of the girls on here feel just like you when we joined this site...I know I did! I was looking for someone who understood what I was going through because no one back here knows what I'm going through! Feel free to message me anytime!

I know that based on conversations with him, that what he needs most from me is this... To stay strong for him. During his 9 week SLC, I would write him letters (not emails) talking about everyday things (i.e. how things are going at work/home for me, books/movies I read/saw, etc.) sent him goodies and cards that would tell him how much I love and support him, and how proud I am of him. I really want him to be able to focus on what is going on over there, not worry about how things are going at home or how I am handling his absence emotionally. I have always been able to get through the everyday because he would be able to text me sweet good mornings, or he'd sneak a call before lights out... but I know that it will be different once he goes overseas. Friends and family that don't have any connection with the life always tell me, "Just deal with it! You're a strong woman, just live your life.." I'm so sick of hearing that. Thank you for your reply.. This really does help talking to someone who understands. And please, feel free to message me if you need anything as well.

It is really different when they are deployed cuz you get a call maybe once a week if you're lucky! And when you talk to them you have to be positive and uplifting. You have to hold out anything negative from your convo cuz last thing you wanna do is worry him! He has a million other more important things to worry about. All he wants to do is hear your voice to get outta that sand box hell hole for even just 10 mins. I love talking to my man and he is always glad to hear that I am doing well. And of course I am always glad to hear his voice and know he is okay!!

Hey I wrote a few stories that you can find on my profile. They might help, I wrote a lot about it.<br />
I still dont know how its going to be afterward and I still do a lot of worrying and get jealous. My bf has been in Afghanistan for 3 months already, So I wrote what I know from my side and what I was trained on when I was training for the army.<br />
Basically be patient, be loving, and continue living your life. Just because you are waiting doesnt have to mean you have to wait at home being sad. Oh and no news is good news, youll hear that one a lot. <br />
I hope this and my stories help.