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Nervous Wreck & Frustrated

I found out a few months ago that my boyfriend of two years will be deploying with his unit to Afghanistan in July 2013. I know this is quite some time away but it 1.) scared the crap out of me 2.) instantly turned me into a nervous wreck and 3.) made me feel like I'm living with a deadline. It is definitely one of the worst feelings I have ever had. In my head logically I keep telling myself to take a step back, breathe and relax. It's not happening tomorrow or next month. I feel like my thoughts are beyond irrational at this point. Like I said, we have been together for two years. When this crappy day does come it will be my first deployment with him but his third tour. I do hope that I'm strong enough. He is my everything and there is nothing that I wouldn't do for him.

I know this is a random rant but I feel like everyone that I talk to (all of which do not have someone they love in the service or currently serving) tell me to relax... however, I feel like if they were in my shoes they would be feeling the same way I do. I have people tell me all the time that they think it's crazy/dumb to date someone in the military because of the long periods of time couples and family go without seeing one another. It infuriates me. I love my boyfriend more than life itself and I know what I have gotten myself into. I am fully prepared to be with him through deployment after deployment. He chose his career and his life before he met me and I chose my career and life before I met him. Now we are making a life together and it's an amazing thing-- it's just different then all my friends. I am glad it's different I just wish I had more people close to me to relate with how I feel. You don't see your boyfriend for two days, well I don't see mine for months.

Well, enough of my rant. I just needed to let some 'ranting' out so I can get some shut eye. A lot on my mind lately and a big thank you to anyone who reads this and puts in their two cents.

-Kris
kris10marie629 kris10marie629 22-25, F 8 Responses Aug 23, 2011

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I found out long before my soldier left to. I was freaking out, just like you. Be proud that he is fighting for you, and loves you, because if you want him, you have to be able to survive alone for a while. Just keep in mind how brave he is being for all of us, and try to be brave for him in return. :) You can message me if you need to talk

I know exactly how you feel hun! I have also been with my boyfriend for 2 years and I know how painful (?!) it can be to love somebody so much.



After a year of waiting, the day finally came yesterday and I have been going through a whole load of emotions, Yesterday I was upset and had the feeling inside all day that I was going to cry, in the evening after he phoned, i just broke down, and this morning when i woke up (hoping it was all a dream) i just feel numb.



Please try to focus on the time than you can spend together rather than "the dreaded day"...Tom has been home for 5 weeks in total this year and we have spent some wonderful time together & it helps me get through knowing how happy and totally in love we are. Seriously, when he goes it will be painful, but please make the most of the time you do have together before he goes!



I hope this helps, feel free to contact me anytime :) x

It's nice to read your comments and see others feeling the same way. I actually had a male friend at school say "well when you boyfriend leaves you should dump him and I'll take care of you." After that comment I told him to eff off and I couldn't bear the site of him anymore. Some people are such a** holes. Thank you all for sharing your thoughts and feelings. It really was comforting to know that I will and do have a support system on this site. It feels like everywhere else though I'm kinda by myself. With the help of you ladies I'm sure I will do just fine! Thank you thank you thank you!!!!!

Wow! I have been reading through your story and through the comments, and I'm in total shock! I have NEVER had someone ask me why I would "Do that to myself" or "Stay with someone who will be gone for a year"! That's horrible! That is like asking one of your friends who is dating a Firefighter, or Police Officer, or a freaking garbage truck driver why they would do that to themselves!!!! I am SO proud to be the girlfriend of a Soldier, and that pride just adds to the love and respect that I feel for him. I am honored and feel priviledged to stand beside someone who is selfless enough to lay his life on the line in services to our country. WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE???? I have to tell you, if someone did have the huevos to ask me that question, I'd probably quickly forget that I'm a lady - I mean my love jumps out of perfectly good aircraft and finds strategic ways to blow things up for a living.... WHAT IS SEXIER THAN THAT?? :)

With regards to your boyfriend's future deployment, I've been living that since I found out in March that he's leaving this December. I know what you are feeling. Like a sick, empty feeling in the pit of your stomach.. you miss him already but yet, he's still here. The best advice I can give you is - cherish every moment you have with him now. Talk to him, ask him what he needs from you from here on out until that day comes. You'll get to test the waters being away from him when he's TDY and then leaves for JRTC. My boyfriend is coming home tomorrow from JRTC, after being gone for 6 weeks. It will be an additional 2 weeks before I can see him again, I leave for work the afternoon he gets back. :( It was really difficult, a little taste of what Deployment will be like. Stay strong for him, and call on us when you feel you need us! I know I will when my Sapper leaves in a few months.

My bf and I have spent almost 7 months apart!!! Minus 3 days. But we have a little over a month left. And people said that it wouldn't work and all the stuff people love to say but we've almost made it and we're more in love than ever!!!!

we are exactly the same! one day someone asked me why are you dating a marine and why would you do that to yourself? your not going to cheat on him when he is away for 3 months? im like what kind of person are you to say that? i love my boyfriend with all my heart and he means the world to me. Someone told me that someone said that i'm not going to last with my boyfriend being gone for 3 months. its like since when is it your business? my boyfriend left a couple of days ago and is gone for 3 months and doesn't come back till November. it sucks and it seems like everything i do i think about him. its really nice to talk to someone who completely understands my situation as well.!

People just dont get it! I can't believe someone has said that to you before..if someone said that to me they probably would have gotten a slap to the face haha..seriously its no ones business but our own!

I totally agree! I had a lot of people criticizing my decision to stay with my man through this deployment! And all I could say to them is "Why the hell not?" I asked them why I should break up with him just because he is deploying. I also asked why I should give up on the best relationship I've been in just because he is leaving. And none of the people could say anything after I asked those questions. I continued on with telling them that this is a time in his life where he needs me the most and I know he wouldn't dump me in a time of need! And after that all the doubters and haters shut their f*ing mouths. I hated the fact that everyone thought it was their business to tell me how to live my life! A lot of the girls on my team were gossiping about me saying that I shouldn't be sad that he is gone and that I got myself into all this. But I just ignore it! Because they are no good and I am secure in my decision! I could care less what they have to say!

i know exactly how you feel when people say why are you with someone like that and say your going to be committed to him for that long? why do you put yourself through that and then when girls say they miss their boyfriends when they havent seen them for a day and i dont get to see mine for 3 months, my boyfriend is a marine and he left a couple of days ago and he wont be back till november 22nd and i miss him so much and i know when people tell you everythings going to be okay you just want to ignore everyone because noone knows what your going through, thought i would comment its true,