Nervous Wreck & FrustratedI found out a few months ago that my boyfriend of two years will be deploying with his unit to Afghanistan in July 2013. I know this is quite some time away but it 1.) scared the crap out of me 2.) instantly turned me into a nervous wreck and 3.) made me feel like I'm living with a deadline. It is definitely one of the worst feelings I have ever had. In my head logically I keep telling myself to take a step back, breathe and relax. It's not happening tomorrow or next month. I feel like my thoughts are beyond irrational at this point. Like I said, we have been together for two years. When this crappy day does come it will be my first deployment with him but his third tour. I do hope that I'm strong enough. He is my everything and there is nothing that I wouldn't do for him.
I know this is a random rant but I feel like everyone that I talk to (all of which do not have someone they love in the service or currently serving) tell me to relax... however, I feel like if they were in my shoes they would be feeling the same way I do. I have people tell me all the time that they think it's crazy/dumb to date someone in the military because of the long periods of time couples and family go without seeing one another. It infuriates me. I love my boyfriend more than life itself and I know what I have gotten myself into. I am fully prepared to be with him through deployment after deployment. He chose his career and his life before he met me and I chose my career and life before I met him. Now we are making a life together and it's an amazing thing-- it's just different then all my friends. I am glad it's different I just wish I had more people close to me to relate with how I feel. You don't see your boyfriend for two days, well I don't see mine for months.
Well, enough of my rant. I just needed to let some 'ranting' out so I can get some shut eye. A lot on my mind lately and a big thank you to anyone who reads this and puts in their two cents.