Stay Or Walk Away??

So recently I was messaged by a girl (who was an ex girlfriend of his) and her telling me she had slept with my boyfriend. He is now in boot camp, and I mailed him the conversation with the girl, he wrote me back and admitted to sleeping with her a week and a half prior to leaving to boot camp while we took a break. This break between him and I occurred because he was not sure about what he wanted and didn't know if we would make it thru boot camp and the whole experience. We have been together for almost 4 years now but it has always been on and off. I was crushed inside on finding out about what the girl said was true, but he had been writing me since he had left saying he has come to appreciate me, and wants a future with me. I feel all guys that are in boot camp go thru this phase of "I want to get married." He claims he meant everything he said in those letters to me about how he feels about our relationship, and our future. I think its weird, that the last 2 letters I sent him before I sent him the conversation with his ex, I had asked him are there any secrets or anything else I should know? His response was "there are no more secrets" obviously this was before he got the conversation I had with this ex of his. So even when I had a gut feeling about something not being right, he still didn't take that opportunity to tell me and come clean. I think it would of been totally different if he told me first, rather than her. He keeps saying the army has changed him, but to me I come back to this question: If the army has changed you, why didn't you owned up to your actions when I asked you if there were any more secrets? even if he didn't want to tell me over a letter, he definitely should of told me before he left. Maybe he was scared of losing me? He now is for sure scared of losing me, since now I know the truth. I need my space to figure things out, and in the mean time I have no desire on replying to him after his confession. He also says he didn't have any type of physical or emotional attraction to her, and that she doesn't mean anything. He just did it because he wanted to start a new chapter in his life without any ties to where he is from. Selfish, and he admitted to being selfish in the letter. He is coming home in a month for Christmas time and he wants to spend as much time with me as he can.

But to me I keep asking myself do I move on? Or do I believe that he won't talk to her again, and genuinely wants to be with me and that its was a bad mistake? Should I be mad because he didn't tell me first when I asked him about if there where any other secrets and him saying "no"? HELPPPP!
gap29 gap29
1 Response Nov 26, 2012

Try to get in a 3-way relationship, he'll love it, you'll have lower housing costs... all the better.