First Deployment Nd Having A Tough Time

its only been two months since Ive seen him last but I feel empty inside.. we dont get to communicate much.. he says the internet in Balad is horrible and  his tablet, laptop or iphone doesnt pick up the signal so he can only get on at the MWR but yet I see alot of his friends on FB everyday from there.. I send him emails and rarely get a response...he does try to call me for a couple mins every few days (Thank god) but its been a while since he said he has missed me.. maybe Im just being hard on him I dunno..I def do appreciate those calls dont get me wrong.. they are the highlight of my day for sure... its his 3rd deployment and my first and Im having a seriously hard time adapting to everything. I plan to stay as strong as possible and support him as much as I can.. I send him a little msg every day telling him to be safe and how much I love him, I send packages, I make sure to be at home almost every day at 230 just in case he calls....but sometimes I feel like maybe he forgets that Im sitting here wishing and waiting everyday for him..  I have no friends or family that no what Im going through they try to help and tell me not to worry but its pointless trying to explain to them how I feel.. I knew it was going to be hard.. but not this hard.. I thought we could skype once in a while and at least talk through IM'S.. I just feel REALLY out of the loop...  is it normal for me to feel like Im totally alone? Im terrified we are going to lose touch.. Ugh I dont know why Im being so Negative when I know its not helping.. Ive been trying to think positive but its proving harder then I SUCKS
Unlimitedlove4mysoldier Unlimitedlove4mysoldier
26-30, F
2 Responses Jun 27, 2011

He may not have internet in his room.. some soldiers dont.. it costs around 80$ a month to have it so thats probably why he doesnt get on like his other friends do.. Im sure he misses you just as bad. Stay strong for him, he needs that more than anything.

I feel you on this one. It seems hard to stay positve all the time. But my fiance told me that he can't always tell me he misses me or talk about getting married and stuff because it makes it harder for him! It makes him miss home more and more. He says that he has to put on a front and focus on what he is over there for! And it is best to surround yourself with the ones who love and support you. I have found that the internet is great because there are so many military chat rooms or chat rooms for the specific branch! Because really unless a family memeber has been through it they have no clue. They may have some good advice, but they have no clue what we feel! I hate when people say just be happy or be positive or don't think about him or the situation so much, but its much harder then anyone thinks! I think about my fiance non stop at my busiest moments. I have found that writing helps a lot. Whether you send it to him or not, it helps. Most the time I write to him, but do not send it! I try to write atleast once day! Hope some of this advice helps...stay strong and stay positive when ever you talk to your man, because like mine says it hurts him to hear that I am having a bad day or I didn't want to get out of bed this morning , because he feels like its his fault, when its only his job that has to be done and we have to be there for them!