What Am I Doing With My Life?

Today is Easter!!! Happy easter to everyone that reads this.   Well today has been one of those days.  I just moved from Fresno Ca to San Jose for a job that I am not really caring for.   I have been at this job since Nov and I am having a hard time.  I am feeling really depressed lately nothing seems to be going my way.   I moved out from paying $400 dollar rent with my best friend that I have lived with for 5 years to living with my 83 year old grandmother that is up my butt about everything.  I have lived with her Since Nov and still can't afford anything.   My boyfriend is going to be deployed, i live with my grandma and I have no friends there but one girl that her mom has cancer and she can not get a place with me and rent there is so high.  I can only afford 800 and I can only find a studio for 895 and my parents will not help me out like they did for my sister i just dont get it.  None of my other sisters had to live with grandma.   I am trying to think at least i have a job and everything and a place over my head in this economy but I just am so unhappy where i am.   I am so frusterated with my parents it just really bothers me that they are just so un fair.  I hate when they are like this.   I pray about it all the time that I wish that I could just get along with them but thne they start in on everything with  my attitude to my relationship with david and how they think it is stuiped that I limit myself to something like this.   I really love him so much and I just want to be happy again. 

gologrl2 gologrl2
22-25, F
2 Responses Apr 12, 2009

it is not nice you cannot live on your own...83 and 25..i can imagine that that is not nice but also that your parents doesn't support...keep your head up girl and keep on searching! kus

Have you tried talking to your parents and explaining how you feel? If not, then maybe that's a start. I think maybe they aren't helping you because of the economy. Maybe they don't have as much money to help anyone now. I understand how hard this has got to be for you, living with someone who is "on your butt" all the time. But your grandmother is from a different time and she is just probably showing her concern and love for you in her own way. A new place to work that you don't really care for can be trying too, but try to find the good in your job and you will feel better. I think your parents are probably afraid for you if anything were to happen to your boyfriend while he is deployed, that is probably why they "start in " on your relationship with "David." I don't know...these are just some things that you might want to think about. It may give you a different perspective of things. Good Luck to you. I hope you find happiness soon.