I Dont Know What To Think

So if any of you guys have read my stories, you know me and my boyfriend were having some problems before he deployed as well as the first few months of his deployment.  Since then, things have slowly started to get better.  He calls a little more often. But he wont say I love you or call me baby. After a lot of pushing, he finally said why. He said its because his friends that had girls back home told them I love you and made plans to see them have since broken up. So in his mind, if he says I love you, we are going to break up. Really? Like I can see where he is coming from, but is that a real reason or just an excuse? He has NEVER had a problem saying it before.  However, he said without actually saying it, he definitely still feels it. He just wont say it.  He also said that if I am here waiting for him when he gets back (9 months) we will for sure be together no matter what. So I guess thats a good thing...He is also not coming home for his R&R. Before he left (when things were still good) he said he was going to come back on his leave and propose. He had the whole thing planned out and was so excited for it. But now since he isnt coming back, that obviously isnt going to happen. Is this too a bad sign? Idk. He said he is just distancing himself from me just in case I find someone else (which isnt going to happen) because then he wont be as upset. I have absolutely no problem waiting for him as long as I know I am waiting for something. What if he comes back and things dont go back to normal? Is it stupid of me to wait 9 months on the hopes that he will come back and be the old person again?

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2 Responses Jan 2, 2010

Ay chica I feel like you are taking this experience straight out of my life. I have been through this and will be straight and tell you to let him go. I had a man I dated for a year before his deployment and I waited for him. Just like your guy, my X-guy never said I love you, never took the necessary steps to show his commitment and dedication to our relationship like I was. Do not wait any longer for this man. By doing so he is just guaranteeing himself a piece of a-s-s and a warm body to lie next to. <br />
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If he wants you he has to work for it and sacrifice just as you are. My husband and I went one deployment and agreed that if we felt we wanted to be together when we met up again we would continue building our relationship. Throughout the year we spoke and communicated honestly and as often as possible. We were never shy to express any doubts or concerns about our relationship. My ex-guy did not do this. I was preparing my life, finances, education, etc. for his return just in case he would come around and take my declaration of commitment to him and run with it. He did not, in fact he did the opposite. He remained neutral and never gave me a straight forward answer about where he wanted...<br />
That was my hint that he was wasting my time and that I was being naive to think that someone who has strung me along for almost 16 months could possibly want to commit to me once he was back in the states and able to return to his bachelor single man lifestyle. He wasn't a man ***** but he was still not prepared for what I was asking of him.<br />
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Do yourself a favor and disengage from this gentleman. He is obviously not ready to commit and will continue to tell you want you want to hear in order to keep you present in his life for whatever he can get from you. Again, you deserve much more than to spend you time waiting and investing in a man who does not want to reciprocate equal or greater efforts. <br />
It's not easy to do but I promise you when you do it is far worth it.

am emailing you now missy!