Don't Know How Much Longer I Can Take It

I am new to all of this and need advise on how to continue with my relationship.  My boyfriend and I have been together over a year and a half.  We currently live together(he moved into my house last oct) I have 2 children ages 10 and 9 from my first marriage.  I have them full time.  They do not see or talk to their father.  I know my boyfriend is bipolar.  He will not admit it.  says he has been tested 4 times.  But has a mood disorder.  (to me the same). i love him very much.  It's the anger I dont love.  It comes out of the blue.  Like a light switch.  One minute we are so happy and laughing. the next he is so angry and yelling.  the worst part about it is that he always says it's my children.  that he can't handle it anymore, they run the house, that I don't disapline them, that they are horrible.  That is completly fause.  They are the most loving and caring children.  they adore him due to the fact their own father is not in their lives (by his choice).  Each time he says he is going to find somewhere else to live.  says very mean things to me.  and does it all in front of the kids.  then the next few days he is sorry and is going to try and do better.  I am so hurt by all of this.  I cry myself to sleep thinking of all the mean things he has said about me and my children.  but tow days later he will say how much me loves me and the kids. 
He has 2 daughters that come over every other weekend.  These weekends I do not look forward to cause he disrespects me in front of his girls.  His girls can do things that if my kids did they would be screamed at for.  but If i bring it to his attention he flips out and says, "i only get to see them every other weekend so it's different". How is it different when they can do things that if my kids do he screams and yells at them.  My 10 year old has ADHD and is on medication for it.  I try and explain to him about ADHD and how to handle a child with it.  He disagrees with me and says I am just babying my kids. 
I don't know what to do about this anymore.  I feel this is abuseive to me and my children.  I want to help him but do I continue to put up with this? there is more to this story but this is pretty much the bottom line issue.  PLEASE!!!!!!!!!  WHAT DO I DO????  HOW DO I HANDLE THE ANGER!!!!!!!
here4help here4help
4 Responses May 16, 2012

We are still apart. Of course I am getting the crying calls and text messages. How sorry he is and he is going to get the help he needs. He keeps asking if there is a future for us. I told him I can not answer that question. He needs to get help and stay with it. He did go to doctor and got put on new meds. I am not turning my back on him completly. I will be his friend. I will help him and support him in his effort to get help and be a happier person and live a much happier life. I do not think at all that we will ever be together again as a couple. To many mean and horrible things said to me. I don't think I can get over. I am so proud of myself! I am so strong now! I feel wonderful being me again.

Hi my bf is the same way his anger is of the roof and can't control what comes out his mouth. He also doesn't know how to control his reaction to certain things or how to control his moods. He has gotten violent with my brother,cousing and destroyed our sons first bday party because he got so drunk.We have a one yr old and after living a week together I couldn't take it I had to leave. We are on and off and he is hard to deal with at times but im staying as long as he he's help because im all he has and only support system. And he needs someone to talk to and open up because there is also that's been hunting him from his past. But your situation is hard and I would not let my son be around that and think about how it can affect him. Stay strong and make the right choice before it gets out of control especially if he hasn't tried to get professional help.

I'm 34 years old have been with my bf for 18 long years. Yes I was young. He was diagnosed a year ago with bipolar 1. It does mr get better especially unmedicated. We have two kids together. I will finally be leaving after I save a bit. <br />
Our bf might have ied intermittent explosive behavior, I don't know.<br />
I'm running as fast as I can, I gave it 18 years of abuse them he was nice. No more. He chooses not to take his meds. I can't do this to myself or the children.

*your bf*

Well I finally ended the relationship last week. I couldn't take it anymore. On fathers day I had to lock myself and 2 children in the bedroom cause he was so angry at me. Just for ordering a PPV event on cable. I was scared. He would not stop yelling! finally I called his mother and she got him to leave the house. It has been sooooo peaceful since he left. I don't have to worry about getting yelled at for anything. My children don't have to be yelled at anymore. It's going to be hard money wise but anything is better than the hell I was going through. he took away all my self esteem. Made me feel like I was a horrible mother. I know I am better than this. He moved all his stuff out yesturday. Of course it had to be a battle over the TV. but I know it was not about the TV. It was about control. I is still hard though. but I have get myself back again. I do love him but I hate him!!!! For everything he put me and my children through and still says its all my fault. thant he couldn't take how I raised my children. he couldn't take it anymore. REALLY!?!?!? I COULDN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE. He keeps texting messages like..."did I leave my shoes at your house". I am not responding cause I know its just his way of staying connected to me. I am taking it an hour at a time but I have to say.........IT'S PEACEFUL!!!!!!!

if there are children involved, you must put them first. keeping yourself in this situation is one thing but your children CAN NOT be witness and subject to that abuse simply because their mother loves a man.