Not Ignoring The Red Flags

I have been seeing a wonderful man for a month. He was kind, compassionate, and thinks I'm the most incredible person ever born... I think. Anyway, I pretty much have a good head on my shoulders because there are red flags and I have a nagging suspicion that he is bipolar and I have been reading up on it and it matches. He is smart and seems to havr this amazing lifebthat sometimes I can't help but wonder if it is true. Anyway, what triggered this suspicion among others was when he asked me out on a date... we had been planning on this date for days. On the day of the date itself he decided to not show up without telling me. Out of the blue he told me to just go home in one text and that was it. In a fit of rage I drove to his house to demand for an explanation when things were going amazingly and he didnt have an explanation and told me he regretted it and was in the process of going out to meet me. A couple of days after the same thing happened, he decided not to show up on a date and I called and messaged him to no avail. When I finally got ahold of him he talked as if I was such an embarrasment when my reaction was totally normal! You ask me out, you don't show up and just not hear from you even to cancel the date. Of course I was furious. And he broke up with me and I accepted it. A few hours later he runs after me again and tells me he loves me. In between those episodes he would ask things that are insulting about my sexual past, as if I was borderline **** but I brushed it off as jealousy... but it got so bad sometimes that I would have like anxiety attacks. He likes to do reverse psychology on me until I would nearly cry. sometimes there are things I think he is lying about because the details of stories change. Then it has come to point when he stalks me when he doesnt need to when he can just ask me! You have no idea what lengths he went to intrude in my life when I have only known him for a month! Then just one day he breaks up with me because he says I'm embarassing and then next day he looks for me and says he loves me! And now another period of silence. The worse is the silence because there's no rhyme or reason to it. He just disappears. And when he does say something it's to act as if I'm such a disturbance when I was asking just a simple question of how he is! But when I do give him space, he gets pissed and says I dont miss him because I didnt leave tons of missed calls and messages. Then silence again or an attack to my character. I love him truly because there is something that draws us to each other but it's been just a little over a month but I cannot understand the mood swings and the rollercoaster ride. Sometimes he talks as if he wants to commit suicide or he is a failure when he really is not! do you think he's bipolar? I think he is manic because he talks a lot, So smart it's scary, creative, but sometimes there are things he says that ... I cant say it here because it is that weird. Like he is chosen for something. I dont know. Do you think he's bipolar? He is so good with reverse psychology that sometimes I think I'm the one who is crazy...
UpUpAndAwake UpUpAndAwake
3 Responses Sep 4, 2012

He certainly wants to keep you off-center. This seems very strategic, but perhaps if he is Bipolar he feels he must disable you for some reason. I too date Bipolar, and though I have my own problems, am glad to have read what you wrote, as I too had been wondering if picking up on inconsistencies were just evidence of my own suspicious nature, as claimed. Love is protective. It does not attack integrity, but fortifies it.

oh my I hope he has a doctor? Its gotta be BPD/Bipolar. He would do well to be on medication. SOunds exactly like my wonderful lover of two years who is BPD/Bipolar.

Kind of sounds like her could be bipolar or maybe even bpd. One of the signs is he sounds like he either loves your or hates you (black and white thinking). My daughter is bipolar and bpd and she often makes plans with friends then changes/cancels at the last minute to hang out with someone else, or she'll tell someone she gonna go see them but doesn't. Not a lot of follow through. But not enough info to say for sure....(and I'm not a psychiatrist).