A Rollercoaster Can Be Both Fun, And Make You Sick.

I've been living with someone with bipolar disorder for 3 years. Unfortunately, he refuses to seek treatment and doesn't see (or maybe doesn't care) how his illness affects others. I never know what I may come home to. It has affected every aspect of my life.

Currently I am in nursing school and cannot support myself without living with him. He knows that and, as a result, I believe he feels it is his right to treat me like a doormat. But, at the same time, I allow it. I have 9 months until I graduate and can get a job and support myself. It will probably be a long 9 months, but I am trying to hang on.

Some days I feel as though I am walking on eggshells. I tip-toe around his moods like a frightened mouse. I never used to be this way. I was independent and strong. I stood up for myself. Now, I just try to avoid conflict because I am so tired of dealing with it.

On his good days he is the most charming, loving person I could ever hope for. He calls me just to tell me how much he loves me or misses me. And then on his bad days, he refuses to speak to me over trivial nonsense. On his really bad days he does incredibly hurtful things.

I start to wonder if I am able to stay sane. I don't have any family or friends who can help. I don't want them to know what I am living with. I joined this forum in hopes that I would find support through others dealing with the same issues.

Someone....PLEASE...help me on this rollercoaster ride for the next 9 months!
jnk12679 jnk12679
31-35, F
Dec 15, 2012