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My Boyfriend Has Gambling Addiction And I Dont Know What To Do

I have been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years and at the beginning we had great relationship but roughly 3 years ago he came to me and said that before he met me, he had a big problems with betting on horses and promised me that he sort it out eveyrything and is ok. But last year I went through his bank statement as I didnt really trust him and found out that he spent thousands and thousands on horses again. We had a big argument about it and I warned him that if he doesnt stop I will leave him, he again promised and that time I really believed him.

I come from Czech and its been quite hard for me to get a proper job, but my boyfriend helped me to become a dental nurse and this year I have been accepted for course of dental hygienist in London and that happened again with great help of my boyfriend. After when I found out about my success, he came to me and said we can afford the mortgage if I help with little amount. I asked him where he got the money and he said he had one great win but never said exactly how much. I got very excited about our future together and was planning buying furniture etc. After our holiday in Sept we went to apply for our mortgage and everything seemed ok. But yesterday I went home for my lunch break and found a big envelope and could not see the name so I opened it and there was an application for loan from the bank for 17000 pounds so I called my boyfriend with huge confusion and thats when he told me on the phone that he lost all his deposit of 15000pounds, even before we both signed the final documents for the mortgage. He was still hoping he will win some money back but no luck.

Everything is ruined, I dont know what to do now, to leave him or stay and help him. He still think that we can go for the mortgage with that loan but I dont trust him. Even when he yesterday addmitted that he has the problem and will do something about it. It is such huge shock for me because we were planning family and children together.

Please can anyone help me???
kasinda kasinda 26-30 5 Responses Nov 11, 2011

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I never had any interest in gambling until about 5 years ago. I used to see my new boyfriend chuck 20 in an online slot machine and magically turn it into 200. Little did I know this was going to destroy meit suddenly consumed my whole life. For about 3 and a half years every spare penny I had was fed into online slots any winnings I had were fed straight back in. I had a baby with my boyfriend and we moved away and had a fresh start. I didn't gamble anything the whole time we were away- which was approx 18 months. Just before Xmas '12 my boyfriend told me things weren't working for him and I should move back home. I am really strapped for cash at the moment waiting to sort out Benefits etc.Anyway I got a little bit of money the other day and a little devil in my head said why don't you just have a wee shot on slots so I looked one up and started playing I did not stop playing until the bank declined the deposits.I thought perhaps because I had stopped for so long it would be ok to have a little shot but it's obviously clear now that I have zero self control when I start playing slot games. I am kind of glad this has happened now rather than when I've actually got money i guess a bit of me knew I would do this as soon as I had moved back home. Anyway I am not going to let this ruin me (again) I am giving my iPad away to a friend as I don't think I can block sites and given I would never actually walk into a bookies I think I will be ok if i remove the temptation.I think meetings might be a good idea for me. I did so well for so long I know I can do it I just had a little set back whilst going through a stressful time. I am determined to use all future income in a positive way for the benefit of my family.

Stay away from a gambler. I am living a nightmare after 32 years of marriage. He promises that he is going to stop, but he goes back to it. This has been going on now for five years. It has ruined our marriage, I have tried and tried to make him understand, we have talked and talked. He does not think he needs help, he gets irritated when I try to get help. It goes around in a circle and I find no peace. He should retire soon and he is not saving anything for his future, he has lost his salary in gambling. I work and had to separate the accounts, because he was wasting my salary too. I think I am filing for a divorce, this situation cannot be resolved, until he sees that he is losing a wife and relation with our children. Our children are married and live separately, but they hate the gambling. One of them suffers a lot for the situation but my husband seems to be blind. I cannot take this anymore.

i have a boyfriend who is also spending thousands of euro gambling on horses. Anytime i try to confront him he gets very annoyed and tells me that im jealous and its none of my bussiness, i really dont know wat to do its big problem and its puttig massive strane on our relationship. we have been recently talking about having children togther, but i dont think that bring a child into this world would be such a good idea at this time. can anyone please give me some advise.

Hi,

and what about your boyfriend, has he admitted that he has gambling problems? My did last week and today its his second meeting for gamblers anonymous. I found out help as well and having this mon appointment with some professionals. I really dont know how to behave and what to feel as I am very disappointed and devastated...Hope you feeling better than me...

Please text me if you need!!!!

I have the same problem!!!