Give Up?

I have been dating my boyfriend for 2 years. He moved in with me until we got in a huge fight about his gambling. He moved out and shortly later we worked some issues out and thought it was pointless to pay rent when he could be helping me. He moved back in and things are no better. He filed Bankrupt a few years ago. I have loaned him money to get back on his feet but no more since about a year ago. He still owes about $3000. and pays it to me monthly. He is still lying and going gambling. He is about 3 months behind on his bankruptcy. I pay all the bills. He helps some around the house. He tries to compare his gambling to my drinking. I do drink and on occasions I may drink a little much but I do not lie to him nor do this behind his back. I enjoy life and I can usually tell with his different moods that he is thinking about gambling. I could not count how many times he has lied about going. I finally got him to tell me but I know I do not know all the times. Now, he says he will never go again and it just is no fun anymore but I do have a hard time believing him. He understands why I would not believe him but as I have told him…. he was just feeling down at the time of his loss and when he starts feeling better he will go again. I have two children. I own my home and have no problems greatly with my finances but I do live pay check to pay check! I really want him to stop as it is not fair to me nor my children. He says he isn’t hurting anyone. I have told him he lives in my home and it does in fact affect everyone. He tells me not to worry about it and that he has been in the mess before and he can get out of it again. I normally do not act so controlling but when he is living with me and does not share any of the expenses with me that it is my business. Not sure how much more I can take?? I know he feels bad and I have caught him a time of two belittling me. I feel he does this to make himself feel better.
ppa2 ppa2
41-45, F
2 Responses Jun 1, 2012

I am kind of in the same boat, I love him a lot.. he lies and hides it... weve been together for 5 years, he pays half the bills and draws the line there, he hasnt gone into any debt that I know of but I wouldnt be surprised if he is with his friends etc. he doesnt think he has a problem because his bills are paid. I make more than him and can comfortably take care of myself and my son but I am sick of living pay check to pay check, I want him to have a goal with me, save money together, a new house, new car, a trip just something other than the casino. It makes me so angry that he asks for $50 towards half of the cable bill (only bill in his name) and I feel I am responsible for my share but it makes me so flippin angry that after he asks me for that $50 for the bill then he can easily go and play $1500 at the casino. I have a 6 yr old son that he has been in his life and my son loves him a lot.. hes been asking for years to have a child with me.. I just dont want my kids looking up to someone that gambles all the time. I just dont want it to get worse, I want him to see he has a problem

He has a bad problem and will not change!! <br />
His ways will get worse he will steal from you.. hock your things.. lie to you and when he has no money to gamble he willl gamble on you with your feelings .. his thoughts will be .. 'can i say this to her to see what she does '.. can i hurt her to see if she come back to me' he will gamble on whether you will go or not it is worth the risk and get him excited to play with you .. he is prepping you already .. he will big you up then drop you .. this is a gamblers way of thinking ..<br />
Your life will be complete without him but if you stay with him you are going to lose your self esteem, money and your children will grow up thinking that allowing someone to use you is good enough for them ... <br />
I am so sorry this is harsh but gambling may not be his only kick..he may be into **** and sex line this usually goes hand in hand with cheating ... mail me if you need to talk