My Boyfriend Has A Gambling Probelm And I Just Found Out.
I only started dating my boyfriend ten months ago but we formed a quick and strong connection. Three months ago he moved three hundred miles to sign a year long lease with me. Last night I found out he's been lying to me since the beginning of our relationship. Before we moved in he assured me that he could handle the financial commitment and even made claims that he could support me if need be since I'm a full time graduate student (now with two part time jobs as well). I knew he had gambled in the past and it made me uncomfortable. I spoke with him about it and he promised it wasn't a problem. Then he promised he would never gamble again. He lied about having almost 10,000 in savings. He lost it all gambling and now owes his father money for additional debts he covered. He owes me almost $1000 in bills and supposedly his parents will send him money for that. He says that even know he never came clean about his history and his finances, he hasn't gambled since four months ago when he told me he wouldn't ever gamble again. I really don't know if this is true. I just keep catching him in more and more lies. Now he admits that he tried to play online poker (where he lost most of his money) but didn't have the funds. For all I know he played with funds he doesn't have. I know gambling addiction is an illness and that all of his lies have been based on that, but I feel so betrayed. If we weren't living together, I think I would have ended it by now. But I made this year long commitment and really can't afford to just kick him out (it's a 1 bedroom so getting a roommate isn't an option). And I do love him. He is good to me in general, but I have no tolerance for being deceived. Maybe I should be easier on him since it's an illness that he needs to get help for (and has said he is willing to), but I feel so stupid for not realizing what was going on, and for falling in love and taking a chance when normally I am so overly cautious about how I live my life. I don't know what to do. Do I try and help him to get better? Or do I say that if he's been lying to me and let me enter a financial situation where he had no means to do his part and never gave me the information I really needed to enter that decision (moving in together) that he'll never be worth it? I'm so hesitant to end things, I would hate to have to find a subletter and give everything up. I can't afford it financially and I don't want to be without him. I'm really lost here.