Bleeding Love

                       I was the kind of person who protected me by not falling in love with anyone. But it all changed, I met a guy and he said he was in love with me. At that time of my life I was very sad and depressed. I accepted his proposal and soon fell in love with him. He used to make me feel so special and loved that I could only dream of that. He was from a different city more than a 1000 miles away from me but I visited him very month. I used to lie and make some excuses at home to go to his city to visit him. I tried to make a long distance relationship work. Finally I decided to move to his city so that I could be with him. I had to leave my family and moved out. Many ups and downs came in our relationship during a period of 1 year but I never thought he would every leave me. Then the day came, it was the day just after my birthday. He sad he doesn’t want to carry on with our relationship. I was in shock and in a second my whole world was destroyed. I kept on asking him why? Why? Why do you want to end this beautiful relationship? He said “I never loved you” and that he thought he was in love what was never in love. I cried and couldn’t understand how can a person not love someone who loves him more than anything in this world. My heart was chattered like a someone threw a stone on my heart made of glass. I did everything for him, left me family, my friends, my home, my mom and my world for him. I learnt that after a week of our breakup he proposed to another person but it never worked out. Anyway Now I am living alone in my new house miles and miles away from my home. I was a very confident person and now every one says what happen to you?  I have lost my confidence and my self-esteem. I don’t feel beautiful or happy about myself. I am trying to find a new job but I have no confidence in myself. I already used to suffer from clinical depression and this incidence has made it worse. I have written this story today after 7 months of our breakup but I still love him. I talk to him everyday and offend talk about getting back. Today I met him again with some of his friends and I saw happiness in his eyes with his friends and I thought I did everything for him and I never saw such great happiness in him…………    I am dieing everyday and feels like i am shrinking everyday. Don’t know what to do with myself as its 7 months now and I still love him, i still cry everyday and I am still bleeding love………….
inmyownworld inmyownworld
18-21
2 Responses Aug 1, 2010

It's awful. Don't you just wish you can have some memories of persons and moments erased from your memory? I am in a similar boat, many differences but kinda the same. It's very nasty. I am totally different from how I was before too. I want my old self back. I am not sure if it's even posssible. Seven months huh.. I hope things turn up for you before a year is up.

I understand what you are saying. You made him the center of your universe and he wanted out. Its horrible, I know. Sometimes you just have to let the storm pass over you : there is no way around it. You are more resilient than you know. Give yourself a chance.