Will The Hurt Ever Go Away

My Alarm goes off in the morning for me to wake up and go to work and I am yet still dazed and sleepy and have forgoten that she is not there so I look to her side of the bed...Empty....then I remember. I remember that she is gone i remember the hurt and the pain and it floods over me.  9 years I had her to wake up to to fall asleep with in my arms and now all there is is my empty bed my King size bed seems way to big and empty these past 2 weeks. It has become a monument of lonlieness.  Stll her half bottle of water she has left on her night stand is there I dont know why i leave it, maybe some part of me hopes she will come back.  Why do I feel this way why did she have to betray me I gave her everything and not just material things I mean my attention my love and care and 2 beutifull children.  Why did you have to have an affair after all we have been through together all the good times and the bad we survived.

When we first started dating those 9 wonderfull years ago you promised you knew how much other girls had hurt me before and you swore you would never hurt me ever but you have hurt me more than anything in this world could or anybody ever could.  I thought that was the one thing you would never ever do to me my love i thought maybe another man would steal you away but not actually cheat on me and lie to me so much.

God i miss having her next to me. I miss waking up in the middle of the night and even though we had a huge king size bed she would be cuddled up to me.  I miss her touch, her lips, her soft skin beneath my finger tips.  Even though she betrayed me I miss her so much.   
Broken31 Broken31
31-35, M
2 Responses Jul 14, 2011

The hurt will eventually go away. Don't dwell in the past, but look to the future with your children. I wish you the Best.

Wow. Your story is really remarkable. Unfortunately, I don't have words. But, I've been there too- please know that it won't get any worse than how you are feeling now. This is the worst part. Hang in there and you'll begin recovering. Don't close off to your friends. Hang out with them, they will offer you support. If you don't have many friends, call an old one and ask to go have a beer. You need a network of support right now, friend. <br />
I'll pray for you. You can try asking God to make it better too. <br />
Best to you.