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Fractured Heart

I wouldn't go so far as to say my heart is broken, especially after reading some of the stories listed here.
But...
My first long term relationship ended last week when my fella left for college. I've been upset, but not devastated, crying, but not bawling. I've been walking around in a kind of haze where I'm never hungry, nothing's interesting, and all I want to do is lie around and be lazy, with the occasional weird craving or random mood.
My nightmares have stopped, but I now get nausea and throw up in the middle of the night (not intentionally).
I'm reading this book called "I'm Fine! A Really Helpful Guide to the First 100 Days After Your Breakup" by Mandana Hoveyda. Today was the day I'm supposed to call a therapist.
I'm afraid of talking to people I don't know on the phone, and I can't find a free online chat for US citizens anywhere. This was the next best thing I found.
The thing is, we've broken up, but we've left the possibility of us getting back together. We're going to meet up over winter break. So I'm torn up with trying to get over him, but trying to hold on.
I can't get rid of the stuffed animals he gave me. I just can't.
I don't want to delete the playlists I made him.
I know this is just a petty high school love, and lots of other couples go through it. But I still hurt. Maybe not as much as some others, but the pain is still there. It's an ache. A dull ache. One that's barely noticeable until I listen to a sad song at night. Sleep really is the best escape.
galfinito galfinito 16-17 1 Response Aug 22, 2011

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Hi. Hang in there. Someone else will take his place in time. Everything happens for a reason. Cheers.